Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

Anyone who doubts the power of Deadspin readers needs to be reminded that you guys don't mess around at all. Upon a call to arms for the Hugh Johnson Project revival, all day the IM windows have been popping up like acne on a Pizza Hut delivery boy's face. This preseason wish list for Hugh II: And The Nedyssey Continues was just a taste of what was submitted. There were a lot of themes. USC hatred! Michigan hatred! Ohio State hatred! SEC hatred! Just ... generally, overall hatred! You guys might want to look into that.


But first up, the penis jokes:

I hope that the Badgers kick the excrement out of WSU in 7 days, and that Matt Shaughnessy gets 2 sacks with his penis alone. — Spectacular Sam

I hope to see Erin Andrews naked in HD. Penis. — icehocey77

My wish (penis) for the upcoming year is the Drew Tate (PENIS) will not be allowed anywhere near Kinnick Stadium. Penis. — scumdog0331


(in a very large font) PENIS — twoeightnine

See? Always funny.

I'd like to see Pete Carroll cry. In pain. — swing4

We are looking forward to seeing what Mike Hart and Chad Henne will find to choke on this season — Suck at Sports


even as a ND fan I wanna see Charlie Weis limping down the sideline with a giant napkin stuffed in his shirt, eating off a plate of buffalo wings carried by one of the ball boys while he swears at an official. — Steve

I want to see someone use the banner from as an anti-Notre Dame sign. — Kit, Denton TX


College Foobaw! Wishlist: Gator Repeat, more Corso Baby Arm signs, and far, far fewer Pam Ward dick shots. — TattooedMess(iah)

This year, I hope to see Penn State put a Port-o-John on the sidelines so JoePa doesn't have to run all the way to the locker room. — Upshaws Leash


I would actually like to see if Pete Carroll can assemble the USC Tailback Voltron when every one of the nine running backs we have left gets a nagging injury. — Signal to Noise

Personally, I look forward to the continuing rehabilitation of Colt Brennan's image as his football skills become more valuable. Did you see that shitstain in the NYTimes today? He's learned so much! He's the designated driver now! He buys his O-line pizzas with Daddy's credit card! He's so popular with youth groups that he has to schedule his time! — Tuffy


the one thing I would like to see is an announcer make it through an entire Michigan game without mentioning Michigan's three straight losses to Ohio State/three straight bowl losses. It's not going to happen, but I'd like to see it. — Yostal

Wait, they're still having college football season? I thought ESPN was just going to run a national championship trophy presentation for USC for 8 hours every Saturday. — ENK

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