Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

Your Definitive RPS Report

Illustration for article titled Your Definitive RPS Report

We didn't have the opportunity to watch the big replay of the Rock Paper Scissors tournament over the weekend — what a grand three days of sports we have on tap this week! — but we were hoping that it was like competitive eating, in that there was a modicum of training and skill involved. According to Joe Sports Fan, which summarized the whole event ... not particularly.

Even the analyst — sitting next to a bewildered Trey Wingo — couldn't convince his audience.

"A lot of people used to laugh about it, but there is absolutely nothing FUNNY about the sport of Rock Paper Scissors. Rock Paper Scissors is a complex game. The winners must possess skill, strategy, stamina, arms and fists. Now if you tell me this sport doesn't require athleticism, I'll show you a player that's suffering from shoulder fatigue, wrist cramps, and RPS-Tunnel Syndrome."


Wait ... Does Carlos Zambrano know about this? How about Joel Zumaya? Or all athletes, for that matter.

The Rock Paper Scissors Championship [Joe Sports Fan]

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