Your Definitive RPS Report

We didn't have the opportunity to watch the big replay of the Rock Paper Scissors tournament over the weekend — what a grand three days of sports we have on tap this week! — but we were hoping that it was like competitive eating, in that there was a modicum of training and skill involved. According to Joe Sports Fan, which summarized the whole event ... not particularly.

Even the analyst — sitting next to a bewildered Trey Wingo — couldn't convince his audience.

"A lot of people used to laugh about it, but there is absolutely nothing FUNNY about the sport of Rock Paper Scissors. Rock Paper Scissors is a complex game. The winners must possess skill, strategy, stamina, arms and fists. Now if you tell me this sport doesn't require athleticism, I'll show you a player that's suffering from shoulder fatigue, wrist cramps, and RPS-Tunnel Syndrome."

Wait ... Does Carlos Zambrano know about this? How about Joel Zumaya? Or all athletes, for that matter.

The Rock Paper Scissors Championship [Joe Sports Fan]