Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion
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You know what? This might sound kind of crazy, but we think it's possible that the NL West might not be any better than it was last year. The only way there's any team better than last year's Padres is if Los Steroido somehow stays healthy (and eligible) all season ... and even then we're kind of pushing it. Our prediction reflects that possiblity.

By the way, there are catchers in this division named "Yorvit" and "Dioner." So you know.


1. San Francisco Giants. Bonds would break Hank Aaron's record and win the World Series just to piss everybody off.
2. San Diego Padres. We have a feeling Mike Piazza won't have to call any "I'm not gay, I swear!" press conferences in San Diego.
3. Los Angeles Dodgers. Well, at least there aren't any of those damn STAT NERDS hanging around here anymore! Only real men here in Los Angeles!
4. Colorado Rockies. We wouldn't put a surprise past these guys; they were the best team in the division for the last two months.
5. Arizona Diamondbacks. Someday, the Buzzsaw shall reign supreme over Arizona! It shall happen!

Give us yours, buckos, if you aren't some kind of wuss.

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