Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.
* The Mets got an inside-the-park HR and a triple play and still lost to the Nationals. Worse, the oversize bats don't arrive until Saturday. [Yahoo; Photo by Greg Fiume/Getty Images]
* Kobe did that thing with his chin again and the Lakers beat down the Suns in the fourth quarter to go up 2-0 in the West Finals. Seriously, it creeps me out when he does that. [MSNBC]
* Today is the first anniversary of the death of Scott Schoeneweis' wife. Naturally, the Red Sox designated him for assignment the night before. Geez, guys. [Boston Globe]
* Several Lincoln, Nebraska, high school students were suspended for throwing homemade "green cards" on the field following a state championship soccer game against a team of mostly Latino players. Man, even Nebraska's racism is lame. [Omaha World-Herald]
* By the way, I'm glad that everyone just now figured out that Mikhail Prokhorov is awesome, even though I've been telling you this for weeks. He even got through this whole interview without relying on a Francesa-to-English translator.
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That's it for me. Enjoy your fancy "daylight."