Have You Seen This Fat Guy?

The White Sox seemed to have lost something. It's about six feet high, 250 pounds (roughly), and occasionally has trouble locating its curveball. Oh, and it's scheduled to start tonighttomorrow so if you've seen a Bartolo Colon anywhere, please call.

Colon, is currently on the DL with knee trouble, but was scheduled to have a rehab start in Charlotte, North Carolina, tomorrow. There's just one snag—no one knows where he is.

"I know where he is supposed to be right now. He's supposed to be in [Triple-A] Charlotte, preparing to start Thursday," White Sox general manager Ken Williams said Tuesday. "Efforts to contact his agent have been successful. Their efforts to contact their client have not been so successful."

If Colon never arrives?

"Somebody will take the mound," Williams said. "This train is going to keep rolling."

Ok, that's ... odd. So many questions? How do you lose a major league pitcher? Have they checked the ground in front of the dugout? And should we concerned at this point? Williams doesn't seem too worried, but that was yesterday. When does he become an actual missing person? Am I going to regret making that fat guy joke? (I think I already kinda do. It was pretty hacky.)

Whereabouts unknown? Bartolo Colon scheduled to start for Charlotte Thursday [Chicago Tribune]

Send an email to Dashiell Bennett, the author of this post, at dashiell@deadspin.com.

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