Let there be no questioning the brilliant legal mind of Jerry Sandusky's lead attorney. "He was both Gallagher and the melon." His go-to legal maneuver was throwing shit against the wall. Gag order? What gag order? Just, you know, give him some more time. You'll see. His client was too busy being a swell guy to have done all that stuff everyone knows he did. This man was just born to be on television. He could really throw a party. "Somebody cute?" All My Children. Check out his license plate. His co-counsel is totally more fun. There a problem? Just dial 1-800-REALITY.

What about Lawyerin' Joe for the Deadspin Hall of Fame? You make the call. Polls close at 11:59 p.m. (EST) Sunday night. He needs 75 percent of the vote to make the cut.

Other nominees:
Fat Chipper Jones
Lynn Hoppes
Oddibe McDowell's Water Bill