My beloved idiot sons, the California Golden Bears football team, somehow lost the worst college football game of the season last night to TCU, a 10-7 stinker that featured the worst interception you’ll see throughout bowl season, and also the second-worst. If those two weren’t enough for you, don’t worry, there were seven more. Please enjoy this supercut.
This game was never going to be good. Two of the best defenses in the country pitted against two of the worst offenses in the country could easily have been a recipe for a boring nothingburger of a game, and while this game indisputably sucked ass, its sheer density of hilarious fuckups pushed it beyond the realm of “normal bad” into something closer to performance art.
Here is a non-exhaustive list of things that happened in this game:
- The winning quarterback passed for 27 yards and four picks. Two of those picks were on illegal throws.
- That QB—TCU’s Grayson Muehlstein—was his team’s third-stringer, and when he briefly exited, he was replaced by Justin Rogers, who, well:
- Muehlstein is one of two senior QBs at Power 5 schools who stayed with their team throughout their college career despite never starting a game. The other is Cal’s Chase Forrest, who went 5-for-14 with two interceptions last night.
- Cal’s Jaylinn Hawkins had three picks. No TCU player caught more than two passes.
- The game featured 15 punts.
- TCU had a chance to win the game in regulation, but Gary Patterson switched his kickers twice after Cal called timeout, finally sending out Cole Bunce after initially switching him out for Jonathon Song. Bunce bunced it.
- Cal’s overtime drive ended after three plays and three yards, when Chase Forrest threw a hideous pick. Jawuan Johnson almost returned it the length of the field before getting tackled by an offensive lineman. However, a TCU official tripped over a first-down marker during the return, so they had to start their drive at the 40.
- TCU then took 10 plays to move to the 10-yard line.
- I really enjoyed this play.
I am very happy I made other plans last night.