Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

A Philly Cop Watches A Mother's Day Street Brawl For Us: "This Can Turn Into A Murder In 2.2 Seconds"

Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "Females free for all fight in north philly on mothers day!" Tonight's commentator: An active-duty Philadelphia police officer we'll just call Frankie.


First, some background from the cinematographer:

The fight started when a group of girls decided to fight someone because of something the mother said to someone. It was Mother's Day afternoon smh.

I was replacing the intake manifold on a Lincoln Town Car when I decided I should take a break to record this dumb azz fight. No cops came to my knowledge as I was out there for another hour-and-a-half working on a car.

Now, here's what Frankie—who does not work in that district—had to say:

That was a pretty good one. Unfortunately I have seen worse. The wolfpack mentality kicks in and people just go nuts. This is everyday somewhere in Philadelphia in the summer.

Most of the time when the police show up mid-brawl, the toads seem to forget their current beef and decide to team up against the cops. Which leads to us teeing off on people with tasers, night sticks and metal ASPs. All of this leads to awesome bar stories for later in the evening and lawsuits that the city will end up settling for $500.

The shrieking guy(?) who yells about it going down is gold. The guys love this shit. They get to see naked women, a good fight, inventive weapons and it's all free. Hood entertainment at its best. I'm going to yell "Real rap" all night now because of this video. Thanks.

Fucked up part is that this can turn into a murder in like 2.2 seconds. Someone sees their girlfriend beat up and grabs a gun in the car. Decides to spray the block. This scene right here is what leads to beefs that go on for a while...usually ending with someone really fucked up or dead.

And is it me or is that girl deadly accurate with that belt? "Indiana Street" Jones should be here wrestling name.

She then engages in a hair grabbing war with another behemoth. That leads to some weaves being left on the street or as we like to refer to it as, "Urban Tumbleweed". Random weaves are everywhere in the hood. It's really fucking disturbing.

Also disturbing is that girl heaving the bottle of bleach down the street. It looks like a scene out of the Middle East during a riot. Fucking animal.

Lastly, I'm going to need this guy to invest in a tripod.

And now, the rest of your Tuesday Night Fights:

• This here footage from Macha, Bolivia features a festival in which "endless bare knuckle brawls!" are a draw. Alternate name: any given Wednesday in Baltimore. (Start of Violence, instantly; Bonus Coverage, the ladies of Macha join in on the fun, aka RHOMB)

• Speaking of Baltimore ... (SoV, instantly)

• Watching "Bitch Fight Round 2" without the benefit of the Round 1 back story is akin to developing a transportation-terrorism prevention plan armed only with a VHS copy of "Speed 2: Cruise Control." But, we do what we must to protect and educate. (SoV, 0:02)


• "Grace Jones vs. Darth Vader" is a fight in which one man wears a bra, the other participant does seem Strangé and there's crack-cocaine involvement. (SoV, 1:25 but viewing from the beginning recommended)

• Weave in the street within the first 17 seconds? Weave in the street within the first 17 seconds. (SoV, 0:14)


• Your "FoXXX Beats Puddles Ass" Stripper-Fight Copycat Crime:

• In which cars are parked in such a fashion (can't be camera lights, can it?) as to illuminate "my nig D" and "Big Boy" night brawlin'. (SoV, instantly)


• Here's your weekly Russian street fight. (SoV, instantly)

• San Jose State, represent. (SoV, 1:01)

• "My boy Shane beating some bitch's ass until his faggot older brother jumps the fight." (SoV, 0:05)


• Your Literal Ass-Kicking Interlude:

• They both must've thought it was White Boy Day at the BVM Carnival in Northeast Philly. (SoV, 0:24)


• Dudes swinging bats and whatnot. At each others. Cinematographer liking what he's seeing. A little too much. (SoV, 1:06)

• "Felony Fight Night: Poon Edition." (SoV, 2:31)

• Presenting "Gay Bully Drags Pregnant Woman Across Front Lawn." (SoV, 0:54)

• Others: "Naked Jamaican Man Tries To Fight Two NYPD Officers In Broad Daylight." "Willie G. Street Fight Rear Naked Choke out!!" "Project X- Riot On A New York City Party Boat." "Shah Rukh Khan in Wankhede Stadium brawl." "destiny 12 all out brawl." "Greg and Gabe." "Hood Fight Must See Brawl." "Strange Road Rage In Czech Republic." "Fight at MWC." "Highschool Fight Stopped By Angry Woman." "Pelea de Viejos." "George vs. Naqaue .. Cops came and we was gone." "Korean Politicians In Brawl." "Bobby (kode red) and papa (HTG) fight." "BIG Fight In Haiti ( White Haitians Brawling)." "BODY SLAM ON CONCRETE." "Hood Females Brawl!! Even kids!!!!"


• Your Chivalry Is Far From Dead Coda: