What you missed while furiously scrubbing red-white-and-blue paint off of your face ...
• NHL Playofs: Hurricane Recchi puts Carolina one step from Stanley Cup.
• World Cup: George and Yortuk Festrunk, the two wild and crazy guys, feel a bulge in their tight American pants at this result: Czech Republic 3, U.S. 0. It is time now for the foxes!
• MLB: Despite giving up four homers, Zach "Action" Jackson pitches Brewers over slumping Reds, 6-5.