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We turned exactly 32-and-a-half yesterday, and that got us to thinking about how we should celebrate our 33rd birthday, because we are not one of those people who are bashful about birthdays. Karaoke party? Chevy's fiesta? Ritualistic human sacrifice? We decided to just listen to Tampa Bay Devil Rays setup man (and onetime Cardinals savior) Al Reyes, and have someone tase the shit out of us on our special day.

That's what Reyes did last night/this morning for his 38th, and it worked out right well for him.

Apparently Al was in Hyde Park Cafe when he fell against a ceramic pot. Thinking someone randomly pushed him, Al started "exchanging" words with a gentlemen. We don't know what was said, but the guy ended up punching Al in the face. Police say Al "began to spit blood on the people in the area and began to swing his arms about." The bar's bouncers were trying to control Reyes, but Al wasn't having any of it as he continued to spit blood and swing his arms around.

After not being able to calm him down Police tased him, knocking him to the floor, but that didn't stop Reyes. He refused Police commands to stay down, got up, and was tased a second time. Reyes was eventually calmed down and treated for a cut on his nose. Al was charged with affray; Mora was charged with battery. Both were released on their own recognizance.


This is yet another example of the instigating, provoking nature of clay pottery. There you are, just minding your own business, and next thing you know, what started with a simple disagreement with a ceramic pot ends with you spitting blood and being tased by police. (Twice.) Happy 38th birthday, Al!

Happy Birthday Al Reyes/Don't Tase Me Bro [Rays Anatomy]

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