Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

All Hail The Bitchiest Of Bitchy Fanboys

All precincts have now reported and we can, at long last, crown a champion in our Bitchy Bracket tournament. Despite a strong tourney run, the anti-vaccination wingnuts fell yesterday to the overwhelming defensiveness of conservative Christians. Please note that I included many liberal factions in this bracket—vegans, breastfeeding zealots, atheists, etc.—to keep the results fair and balanced, but I assure you that most conservative Christians will still complain that the contest was rigged. NEFARIOUS GAY LIBERAL SKEWING REARS ITS UGLY GAY HEAD ONCE AGAIN.

So the championship of Tebow Nation isn't all that surprising. After all, they have an entire news network created just for them to shield them from actual facts, because facts make them so defensive. Even Team Breezy doesn't wield that kind of bitchy influence. So bask in your One Bitchy Moment, 700 Club members of the world. And then write a 5,000 word comment below with no upper case letters and at least seven inappropriate Hitler comparisons.


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