Even if you are someone who cares about the sport a great deal, there is more ebb than flow to the average baseball season. There are moments and milestones over the course of the year that are authentically exciting, but it’s the nature of the season that every one of them is followed by a long languorous petering-out process. The beginning of spring training is loaded with all kind of promise about the end of winter, the start of something new, and various other George Will-scented truisms, and then it’s followed by...six weeks of fucking spring training. Opening Day is here, and it is good as hell and imbued with all kinds of other excellent things to be imbued with, and then tomorrow the team plays another game, and so on and so forth for five months. It will be difficult to remember how exciting all this is when the teams are grimacing and grunting in early August. Those games will not be imbued with anything. They will just be baseball games played in August.
And if you want to hear us talk about how bored we are by baseball, you should listen to a podcast in August, because right now Drew and I are pretty fired up about the baseball season to come. We don’t even know how it will disappoint or infuriate us yet, although we took our best shots at it in a moderately feisty season preview Deadcast:
But we couldn’t really leave it at that. Yes, yes, baseball is back and it’s good and both of us are happy about it, but the horrors of the Funbag must also be honored. And so we opened the ‘bag, and drew forth from it questions about citrus fruit and midday sports bar TV programming and whether non-assholes can own Peloton machines, which led onto the question of how it happened that everyone in TV commercials lives in a fucking castle now. There’s also the question of how Donald Trump would fit in at Augusta National, which kind of answers itself, and a question involving a mysterious hoagie discovered in a rest stop bathroom. My answer of that one was probably just as obvious as the Trump one, but that’s really more my problem than anyone else’s.
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