Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

....And You Shall Know Us By The Trail Of The Big Blue Dead

Illustration for article titled ....And You Shall Know Us By The Trail Of The Big Blue Dead

Yes, there are other games tomorrow. But, let's be honest — there's really only one that matters this weekend.

Okay, that's not fair. The Titans/Ravens game should be entertaining. Prediction for that? Final score: Ed Reed 10, Kerry Collins -7. And of course you have the Mattoon Buzzsaw up against the Carolina Smash and Dash Panthers. Oh, here's a fun aside: Anyone know what a Panther Swipe is? It's a fun new disgusting sexual act. Apparently, it's when you jerk off into your own hand, then paw it on your lady's face right after you've completed. Like a panther. That's all I've been thinking about anytime the Carolina Panthers come up. (This enlightenment courtesy of Josh from George A. Dondero High School's class of '98.) And then Sunday we have the Chargers/Steelers match-up which will only be entertaining because when it ends, a new SHOTY champion will be crowned. (Oh, and fucking Baby Mangino made another Kansas news station. Doesn't anyone in Kansas ever get murdered or something?)


I'm in no way confident about Sunday's outcome, but there's just something about this game seems a little off. Something fucked up's gonna happen. You know when you can just feel it? Last time I had that feeling, 4th and 26 happened.

Still, I'm thoroughly convinced the Giants are due for a statement game and will just trounce over the Eagles defense and anyone in their path. You know when Cape buffalo get spooked and then just rumble through a riverbed over top baby zebras and any other creature that stands in its way? Yeah. That sort of thing. The rest of the league are the baby zebras.

Go to the top and popular stories to see what this week hath wrought.

TOMORROW: We're still in Deadspin Recession Weekends and I'll be popping in intermittently to provide you with various sporting updates and give you enough places for you to stay and chat about the games. (That is, if the car bombs in Brooklyn don't paralyze me.) Dash will once again be here on Sunday.



Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Puck You, Miss.

See ya tomorrow.

Share This Story

Get our newsletter