If you’re into feet, and I mean really into feet, you’ve come to the right place: the internet. But also Deadspin dot com, your source for all the latest news and updates on Antonio Brown’s hideous tootsies.
Gaze upon them and risk madness.
Brown reported to Raiders camp with some seriously fucked-up little piggies, and though he was briefly taken off the non-football injury list, he has been unable to practice. And no wonder: feet lookin’ like they’re mid–Thanos dusting. The cause of and prognosis for Brown’s foot problems are still weirdly mysterious. The Raiders haven’t said anything, in that way that football teams will refuse to tell you the color of the sky if they think it’s proprietary information. In terms of Brown’s recovery, maybe that makes sense on some level if it remains a problem into the season and they think opponents would be able to take advantage of it. But we still don’t actually know why Brown’s feet are, uh, falling off. Well, here’s one report.
Pro Football Talk’s Chris Simms initially opined that Brown might be dealing with a fungal infection, because something similar happened to him in Tampa. But after Simms said that on a podcast, he got a call from someone in the know:
After Monday’s show, Simms got word from someone with knowledge of the situation that Brown burned his feet by entering a cryotherapy machine without the proper footwear, and his feet were frostbitten.
Tuesday’s premiere of Hard Knocks was no help. Though Brown, as the Raiders’ biggest addition and biggest name, featured heavily in the episode, it was all talking around his Donner Party–ass feet rather than shedding any actual light on them. (The closest it came was Oakland’s head trainer telling Jon Gruden that Brown “can’t handle the sharp cuts.”)
I wish Brown a successful recovery so that we never have to see his feet ever again.