ajd Page 38 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Farewell To The Old Man At Spring Break
Well, that's the conclusion of Pat Jordan's "Down And Out In Daytona" series. I hope you people enjoyed it as much as we did. Maybe we'll get to do something like this again when we have more money to spend....

Sports Website With Silly Name Makes Cameo On "Southland"
No, it's nowhere near as great as the "You're With Me Leather" spot on Las Vegas from a couple years ago, but it is always flattering to be parodied. Watch the clip after the jump....

Toni Kukoc And Derek Fisher Have Giant Penises, John Salley Says
Courtesy of John Salley, we're told that the NBA's most famous Croatian export is super-hung for a white boy and that Fisher is "six feet tall with a seven foot dick." Gentlemen, welcome to the geoduck club. [SpiderandtheHenchman]...

Harold Reynolds Disputes "Harold Reynolds Spring Break Story"
Yesterday we published a somewhat ridiculous Spring Break story from a reader named Kevin that featured an odd cameo from MLB Network analyst Harold Reynolds. Shockingly, Reynolds claims the story is bogus....

<em>Joe Buck Live</em> Pretty Much Dead, Joe Buck Says
Fox's Joe Buck seems convinced "Joe Buck Live" will be canceled, but HBO still hasn't made it official. HBO reps went the "no comment" route when we asked about the show's status. Joe Buck sent us these parting thoughts:...

Last Night's Winner: Shining Moments
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the captive audience fully engrossed in this year's highly entertaining NCAA Tournament, which somehow keeps getting better....

Tiger Woods's First Porn Mistress, Joslyn James, Publishes Something New: Wingman's Email
Joslyn James, Tiger's tawdry porn star hump-buddy best known for publishing those awful text messages, has returned with a new batch of quasi-incriminating evidence: Uchitelian emails from Tiger wingman Bryon Bell. See below....

Dwight Gooden Charged With DWI (Update)
According to the Franklin Lakes, N.J., police, the oft-arrested former Met/Yankee (oh, and Indian/Astro/Devil Ray, too) was pinched early Tuesday morning on suspicion of driving under the influence. The tip we received and press release are below....

How To Tap A Fucking Keg
We asked Awl contributor Abe Sauer to write a profanity-filled, Spring Break-themed servicey piece, one that could be useful for both dopey sun-poisoned college kids and backyard BBQ enthusiasts. The Awl agreed to let us borrow its occasional series. Enjoy....

"It Wasn't Death. It Was The Ghost Of Dale Earnhardt, And He Was Smoking A Marlboro Red."
SBNation's Spencer Hall, America's Tackling Dummy, raced six terrifying laps at Talladega and realized the competitors who do this for a living are "Completely. Barking. Mad." Carve out some time to read it all. You won't be disappointed. [SBNation]...

Pat Jordan Submits His Spring Break Essays To Us Via Fax
...And the first installment will run tomorrow Wednesday. Mr. Jordan cargo van-slummed it in Daytona Beach for us last week to complete this assignment, so pass it along to friends and colleagues because he'll never do this for us again....

Tiger Woods Still Offends Some Women
"And maybe those amends Woods keeps talking about making might include helping to prove that women have a more meaningful place in the golf world than as groupies." [Salon] (PHOTO: Reader Greg U. from Fort Lauderdale Beach Hooters)...

ESPN On Five-Minute Tiger Interview: "More Important For Us To Have No Restrictions"
ESPN decided that a short, tape-delayed interview with Tiger Woods near his mansion columns was better than no interview - and Lightning Round Tom Rinaldi was the first and obvious choice to conduct the interview, the WWL said....

Golf Channel Actually Asks Tiger Woods Tougher Softball Questions
Golf Channel's Kelly Tilghman actually asks better questions and introduces us to Tiger's magic pussy protector Buddhist bracelet he now wears to keep rooted. She also reveals Ari Fleischer is done working for Team Tiger. Big day for "Kell." [GolfChannelTranscript]...

Tiger Answers ESPN's Questions: "A Lot of Ugly Things Have Happened."
According to this press release, ESPN hand-picked Tom Rinaldi to sit down with Tiger Woods and ask the awkward questions about the golfer's super-sexual personal life for the WWL. Sports Business Journal's John Ourand has many of the details....

The One Where People Clear The Air About Some Of Tiger Woods' Female Acquaintances
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

I Was There: When Georgia Tech Beat USC With .8 Seconds
Andy E. Lin was three rows behind the bench the day James Forrest launched the improbable heave that sent USC home....

Slam Dunk: The Financial Impact of March Madness
Our friends over at Fast Company put together this nifty little chart outlining where all the March Madness money goes. Check out more of this series right here....

I Was There: Yesterday. In New Orleans
For our next #iwasthere, we hear from Alejandro de los Rios, who spent 12 hours in New Orleans Arena during yesterday's first round, when Notre Dame went down and Kentucky brought Steve Zahn for moral support....

I Was There: The UCONN Gutpunches
Andrew Porter, editor of TheUConnBlog has two #iwasthere games, though one of them didn't take place in the NCAA's....