Pat Jordan Submits His Spring Break Essays To Us Via Fax

...And the first installment will run tomorrow Wednesday. Mr. Jordan cargo van-slummed it in Daytona Beach for us last week to complete this assignment, so pass it along to friends and colleagues because he'll never do this for us again.

We're not popular enough, yet, but if we can help the crazy old bird gain a few new fans in the process, it will put his mind at ease. So please come back for it.

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Tonight: We also have the return of Matt Sussman, who agreed to contribute his formidable, bingo-carded live-blogging skills for tonight's Erin Andrews "Dancing With The Stars" debut. He will not be faxing it over.

Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. Barry will also be here on the flippity-flop.