albertburneko Page 11 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Some Cool Highlights From The Knicks' 18-Point Win
The New York Knicks hosted the Chicago Bulls last night. Here’s some stuff that happened in that game....
It's Actually Good That Isaiah Thomas And Julius Randle Shouted At Each Other And Had To Be Pulled Apart
I guess I don’t see any particular reason to disbelieve them, but the following postgame quotes, about the shouting match Los Angeles Lakers teammates Isaiah Thomas and Julius Randle had on the sideline during last night’s loss to the Golden State Warriors, are still cracking me up....
It's Bad To Waterboard People
This seems like it should be pretty self-explanatory....
Let Us Now Have Our Brains Melted By Anthony Davis
The New Orleans Pelicans came apart over the last, oh, 13 minutes or so of last night’s game and wound up losing pretty one-sidedly to the Utah Jazz, at home. Please do not let that distract you too much from the hilarious wonder of Anthony Davis’s 25-point, 11-rebound, 10-block triple double....
Steph Curry Sprained His Ankle Again, Again
Golden State’s Stephen Curry rolled his right ankle coming down from a layup attempt early in the first quarter against the San Antonio Spurs last night. Here’s that:...
Birds Are Good
It has come to my attention that some people do not like all birds. This or that bird is not good, they are saying or thinking or blogging nearly two years ago. But actually, whatever bird they are talking about is good. Birds are good....
Now Is The Time For Larry Nance Jr. To Bounce Around And Make The Cavs Fun
Cleveland Cavaliers center Tristan Thompson will miss at least the next couple of weeks recovering from a sprained right ankle. In his place, the Cavs will start spring-loaded slam-dunk bear Larry Nance Jr., whom they acquired from the Los Angeles Lakers back at the trade deadline. He got his first ...
The Spurs, Who Have No Good Players, Are Having A Hard Time
Really, the only disorienting part of it is the uniforms. A team lately composed mainly of weird misshapen basketball nobodies scrounged from the sport’s couch cushions—a team that on any given night gets but more importantly needs and maybe even cannot survive without meaningful contributions from ...
None Can Defeat The Mighty Wizards
The brave Milwaukee Bucks tried their best. After falling behind the invincible Washington Wizards by 21 points in the first quarter of last night’s game, the deer men scraped and clawed nearly all the way back, drawing the deficit down to a single point five times in the fourth quarter. Alas, each ...
Maybe Just Get Zaza Pachulia The Fuck Out Of Here
Here are some fun clips. For all intents and purposes, they might as well be the highlights of Zaza Pachulia’s 14-year NBA career....
Bode Miller Is The Worst Sports Commentator Who Ever Lived
Here is my impression of Bode Miller, alpine skiing analyst for NBC’s Winter Olympics coverage, watching Neil Armstrong take humankind’s first step onto the surface of the Moon:...
David Brooks Seems Extremely Confused (About Amphibians)
Amphibians, as every little kid knows, are born in water, as larvae, breathing water through gills. Later they undergo metamorphosis, and emerge from the water with (in most cases) air-breathing respiratory systems. Even after they’ve taken to land, though, they retain highly permeable skin that can...
President Of The United States: Call The Cops On Troubled Kids More
This fucking deadbeat. This chickenshit moral dwarf. This cheap-shit dime-store fucking fraud....
Hm, This Markelle Fultz Shooting Drill Seems Weird And Bad
The vaguely and increasingly sad saga of Markelle Fultz’s lost shooting stroke has become one of the defining stories of this NBA season. And yet, for all the reporting and blogging around it, all the proffered diagnoses from coaches and GMs and anonymous sources close to Fultz or the Sixers, all th...
Bring Back Speed Skiing
Everybody knows the downhill is the best Winter Olympics event. The speed! The danger! The mind-boggling athleticism of the participants! The weird cowbell! I love it so much. If there were a downhill skiing network in my cable package, I would watch it for hours every day. I cannot get enough of th...
Your 2018 NBA Trade Deadline Roundup
Wow, what a frickin’ day. The NBA trade deadline came and passed, LeBron James traded half the players in the league for the other half, and there’s a lot of wreckage to sort through! As is tradition around here, we’re here to help out, with our in depth takes on each trade....
Someone Please Stop Ernie Grunfeld From Considering This Very Stupid Trade
I can think of no harsher or more depressing condemnation of the, god, coming up on 15 years Ernie Grunfeld, a cartilage-brained nincompoop who never saw a ruinous short-sighted midseason trade he didn’t like, has spent as the head personnel honcho of the Washington Wizards than that the following s...
John Wall Broken, Wizards Dead, Universe Empty
Washington Wizards guard John Wall will miss six to eight weeks for a “procedure to clean up” his sore left knee, the one that has now been interfering with his career on a dismally regular basis since at least as far back as 2012. In related news [long anguished scream, tapering away to silence]....