John Wall Broken, Wizards Dead, Universe Empty

Washington Wizards guard John Wall will miss six to eight weeks for a “procedure to clean up” his sore left knee, the one that has now been interfering with his career on a dismally regular basis since at least as far back as 2012. In related news [long anguished scream, tapering away to silence].

The first part of that comes via Candace Buckner of the Washington Post. The second part comes from purgatory, which is absolutely fucking festooned in Wizards memorabilia.

But hey, maybe they can hang in there without their five-time All-Star! Let’s look ahead to what they’ve got in store:

Nice, nice. I want to die.

[ WaPo]