barryap Page 583 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
"Didn't There Used To Be A Roof Here?"
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Your On-Time Reds-Phillies Game One Open Thread
One city thinks they've already won the World Series. The other city is just happy to be here. Discuss the harshing of someone's buzz right here....
Corrupting America's Public Schools, One Cigar Guy Photoshop At A Time
We received a note from a teacher at a Southern California high school, informing us that his students spent today's class creating their own Cigar Guy photoshops. Here are the fruits of their labor. We're putting these up on the fridge....
Browns Now Charging You To Walk Through Parking Lot
And not because many Clevelanders weigh as much as a Kia Forte. No, the traditional tailgating spot for Browns fans is now charging money to enter, even if you're on foot....
ESPN Producer Caught Beating It Outside A Lady's Window
Win 17 Emmys, and no one calls you "Emmy-winner" Neil Goldberg. Head ESPN's NASCAR coverage, and no one calls you "motorsports guru" Neil Goldberg. But stand on a stool to masturbate to a woman getting dressed just once......
360-Degree Swing Attempt Doesn't End Well
When I was a kid, I was told that you'd turn inside out if you went all the way around on the swing. Turns out that's not true, but this looks much cooler and more painful. [via Hot Clicks]...
A Trip Down Memory Lane With Team Slogans
Here's a seriously fascinating list of marketing slogans used by sports teams over the past few years. Still laughing at "We Will" - 2006 Pittsburgh Pirates....
How Alberto Contador Doped (And We're Assuming He Did)
The Tour De France winner's first positive test showed an almost minuscule level of a banned substance, far too small to have been doping. The results of a second test show exactly what he was up to....
Hooking Up At The Browns Game: Not A Tale Of Seneca Wallace And His Receivers
A security guard has turned to Craigslist's missed connections for a woman he spotted in the stands at Sunday's game, for friendship and maybe more. [Craigslist, via Cleveland Scene]...
The Official Jewish Response To The James Shields Conspiracy Theory
A nice lady called a Tampa sports talk radio show and argued that Shields is starting game 2 only because he's Jewish, and the Rays' Jewish ownership made it happen. Shields isn't actually Jewish, but never mind that....
Worst Burglar Ever Wears Stolen Oregon Jersey, Hides In Bathtub
A Portland man entered his bathroom to find a strange man in the tub, wearing his Onterrio Smith Ducks jersey. Worst horror movie ever....
Miami Dolphins Solve Everything
Well, that was fast. The Dolphins fired special teams coach John Bonamego, not 12 hours after their epic meltdown....
Last Night's Winner: The Greatest Hitter In Japanese History, This Ginger Kid
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Japan's new all-time single-season hits leader, Matt Murton. Yes, the same Matt Murton who washed out in Chicago, Oakland and Colorado....
The Cigar Guy Photoshops Have Begun
Here's a few. Cigar Guy is the new Sad Keanu, so you might want to get on this....
Gay Skydiver Fired For Fondling Female Student During Jump
A Long Island skydive instructor was fired after a student complained that he groped her as they plummeted to earth. The instructor is suing, claiming he couldn't have grabbed a piece, because he's gay. Oh, that's convenient....
Checking Back In With The Guy Who Bet Against The Pirates Every Game
Early in the season, we examined one Bucs fan's foolproof strategy of always betting against the Pirates. Turns out, they were even worse than Vegas knew. A 9.98 percent ROI was his reward....
Hockey Season? Must Be Time For Absurd Shootout Goals
This one belongs to the AHL's Kaspars Daugavins, controlling the puck with the nose of his blade, before transitioning into an unblockable spin-o-rama. Okay, we're officially ready for Thursday. [via Puck Daddy]...
Weekend Winner: The Morons Of The NFL
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Andy Reid, Jim Caldwell and Nate Clements, who proved that of all the metrics and intangibles required for NFL success, having a single goddamned brain cell is most important....
Jerry Jones's Bizarre Sexual Assault Lawsuit
Remember Jerry Jones's drunk video, in which he slammed Parcells and Tebow? A woman claims that later that night Jones assaulted her, had her drugged with GHB, and almost gave her a prostitute's STD. Strange stuff in here....
The Yankees/Red Sox Turf War Claims Another Victim
A Yankee fan stabbed a Red Sox fan at a Connecticut restaurant Saturday, supposedly over baseball. Though the altercation happened at the Chowder Pot Inn, so maybe it was a fight about the pronunciation of a certain word. [Globe]...