barryap Page 599 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Joe Paterno And Dean Smith, Going Out On Their Own, Very Different Terms
Observations that Paterno's health — body and mind — have declined noticeably should be heartbreaking. So why aren't we as sad about it as we ought to be?...
Utah's Ban On Beer Sales Forces Baseball Team To Fold
The independent St. George RoadRunners ceased operations this week, with the owner citing the absence of beer at the ballpark as the critical factor. You try watching semi-pro ball, in the desert, surrounded by Mormons, and do it sober. [Deseret News]...
Serial Semen Squirter Finally Behind Bars
Michael Edwards Jr. is accused of spraying Gaithersburg, Md., shoppers with semen from a bottle. Police say there are other victims out there, and they're unsure of where the semen came from. Carl Monday warned us, people. [WaPo]...
I Don't Care About Alex Rodriguez's 600th Home Run
As a Yankees fan, people have been asking me for the past few weeks what I thought about A-Rod's chase for 600. Okay, nobody's asked me that. But my girlfriend did ask if 600 is a lot. Yeah, I suppose it is....
Quiet, Dez. <em>This</em> Is How You Haze A Rookie (UPDATE)
Our dick-headed friend is Jaguars rookie Kevin Haslam, after a run-in with Uche Nwaneri and his clippers. This never would have happened if they had drafted Tebow. [Twitpic|h/t Jovan J.]...
Spider-Man Outfielder Makes One Of The Greatest Catches Ever
This is from last night's Yokohama BayStars/Hiroshima Carp game. Breaks like this are why the BayStars are in last place, though I think Hiroshima would take issue with any other city calling itself unlucky....
Last Night's Winner: Party In The UGA
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the University of Georgia's freshman orientation video, which forces us to invent new words to describe it, because "awful" and "embarrassing" are no longer cromulent enough....
John Cusack, Chris Chelios and Eddie Vedder Walk Into A Ballpark...
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Pick Against The Youngstown State Penguins At Your Own Risk, Pollsters
Here's coach, on their 7th place MVC ranking: "In some parts of this world we live in, if you disrespect someone, you may lose your life. Right or wrong. I don't handle disrespect well, and I'm sure my players won't either." [MyValleySports]...
Some Good Comes Out Of Albert Haynesworth's Unathleticsm
Free ice cream for everyone in Bethesda, Md., if Albert Haynesworth can pass his conditioning test....
Forbes Uses Science! To Prove Red Sox Have The Best Fans
The metrics: attendance, merchandise sales, and something called "in-market popularity." Which sounds like most fans rather than best, but who are we to argue with photo slideshows? [Forbes]...
Little Kid Freaks Out Over X Games Flasher
Watch the boy on the stairs. I didn't realize it was humanly possible to be that excited about a woman showing her breasts, especially if you haven't gone through puberty yet....
Window On The NCAA Slams Shut, After Blogger Is Outed As Compliance Officer
For the better part of a year, the Bylaw Blog gave a look inside the NCAA's arcane rules for punishing programs. Two weeks ago, the anonymous author was revealed as a D-I school's compliance officer, and promptly shut it down....
Brett Favre To Retire. We've Heard This Before.
Favre says his ankle hasn't responded to treatment (maybe he shouldn't have waited until May for surgery), and he's ready to hang it up. Vikes brass aren't convinced, and may offer to rework his contract. Don't bother, guys. [Star Trib]...
Last Night's Winner: Akron, But Not Cleveland. No, Never Cleveland.
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the fine people of Akron, Ohio, who received thanks from LeBron James in a full-page newspaper ad that didn't happen to mention Cleveland or the Cavaliers....
X-Games Flasher, Large Photo Make For R-Rated Where's Waldo
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Phillie Phanatic Immortalized As Art, Promptly Vandalized
Not all of Philadelphia has Phillies Phever. Two men were arrested for assaulting a 6-foot, 100-lb sculpture of the Phanatic. His prehensile tongue offered pathetically little defense....
Rex Ryan Loses Weight-Loss Contest, Despite Having Lap-Band Surgery
The Jets coach came in third out of three, in a race with two of his players to see who could drop the most pounds in the offseason. That's even with the surgery which makes it impossible not to lose weight....
Breaking: Knife Twisted Further
The rumor is that the new-look Heat will open the season in Cleveland. But because every goddamn thing has to be televised, we'll know for sure when the NBA announced opening week, Christmas and MLK Day matchups tomorrow in primetime. [Plain Dealer]...
Miami Bound Cavs Star Thanks Cleveland Fans. Not <em>That</em> One, Obviously.
Zydrunas Ilgauskas took out a full page ad in yesterday's Plain Dealer, thanking the fans for his time spent in Cleveland. It's a nice gesture, but why does the wording leave an odd taste in our mouths?...