barryap Page 639 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Your USA-Finland Open Thread
The only thing that stands between us and a gold medal rematch with the Canadians is Finland, the Canada of Europe. Try out your umlauts and doubled vowels in the comments....

Rangers Set For Historic Season - Just Ask Them
Hope springs eternal at Spring Training. But in Rangers camp, someone appears to have spiked the Gatorade with Prozac. Because players are throwing out pie-in-the-sky predictions like no one's business....

FOX Sports Needs A Geography Lesson
Apparently, the Rangers and Twins have moved halfway across the state, the Mets and Yankees play on Long Island, and the Cubs and Phillies have relocated to Indiana and New Jersey, respectively. Are you smarter than a fifth grader? [FOXSports]...

OK, Seriously, Time To Shut The Hell Up About Fighting And Olympic Hockey
The Olympic hockey games have been uniformly thrilling, to purists and casual fans alike. But there are murmurs, surely music to Gary Bettman's ears, that the lack of fighting is what's making the games so great....

That's Just Manny Being Manly
According to a Dodgers beat writer, Manny Ramirez is endorsing a strip club-themed energy drink named "Sum Poosie." I would've thought Juicy Juice to be more appropriate, but whatever. [Twitter]...

Presenting Your New Favorite Olympian
A simple question posed to Norweigan skiier Odd-Bjørn Hjelmeset about his silver medal in the men's 4x10 relay somehow led to a spectacular response, covering porn, Tiger woods, and brutal honesty....

The Canadian Woman, Seen Here In Her Natural Habitat
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Every England Left-Back Out Of World Cup, Caught In Adultery Scandal
After Ashley Cole went down with a broken ankle, all of England's hopes rested on Wayne Bridge. Would he put the personal unpleasantness aside, for queen and country? Hell no....

Eric Hinske Some Kind Of Circus Freakshow Now
Two years of work and $5000 later, the well-traveled utilityman finally completed...something. "[He] said there is no special significance to the design," but I'm pretty sure he's now officially Yakuza. [AJC]...

Scott Van Pelt: "Fuck I Gotta..."
Two nights ago, after being pranked by Howard Stern's crony, Van Pelt said "Hi, YouTube." Well, hi again. This time, fleeting internet fame is his because he let an f-bomb fly as SportsCenter headed to commercial....

Devin Hester Hasn't Heard About Sea World Yet
Not that an athlete forgetting to watch the 10 o'clock news is newsworthy in and of itself, but Devin Hester's blissful unawareness of yesterday's Sea World happening is delightful in its own strange way....

Great Moments In Public Urination Journalism
Villanova's junior guard Corey Stokes got busted for peeing in public, occasioning this line: "Stokes was urinating between two parked cars at about 3 a.m. while surrounded by several teammates." Jay Wright should be proud. That's real teamwork. [ZagsBlog]...

The Glory Of Tebow Shall Not Be Revealed To The Apostates
Fresh off news that Tebow won't show off his arm for scouts at the NFL combine, now comes word that he won't participate in any drills. You know how a really bad movie won't be screened for critics? Yeah....

Arrested Bobsledder Has Colorful, Checkered Past
American bobsledder Bill Schuffenhauer was arrested, after allegedly assaulting his fiancée. It's another sad episode in the life of a man who always seems to find trouble....

MTV, BET No Longer Safe From Chad Ochocinco
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Cavs To Set World Record For Sissiest World Record
There are a handful of down-on-their-luck teams chomping at the bit to sign LeBron James. He'd be the only attraction they'd need to sell tickets. Meanwhile, Cleveland is attempting to break the Guinness World Record for most Snuggies....

Only Death Or Golfing Can Take Down Jim Leyland
Leyland's pinky toe was broken after Gene Lamont ran over his foot with a golf cart. Leyland proceeded to gnaw the toe off to keep from missing a smoke break. [Detroit News]...

Olympic Pole Dancing Advocates Are Super Serious, You Guys
Every Olympics, we hear about fringe sports (and that's being generous) clamoring for inclusion. This time, it's competitive pole dancing. But it doesn't look like they have the most credible advocates on their side....

Slightly Racist Mascot To Be Replaced With Cult Favorite Squid Monster From Space?
The campaign is underway to name Admiral Ackbar, of "It's a trap!" fame, the new mascot at Ole Miss. Assuming Ole Miss's endowment is enough to cover George Lucas's licensing fees. [AJC]...

Ozzie Guillen's Twitter Is Spectacular, Controversial
Twitter was invented for people like Ozzie, whose brains are relatively unfiltered in the first place. And while he hasn't done anything wrong yet, White Sox management are understandably nervous....