barryap Page 640 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
This Would Never Have Happened If We Still Had Beepers
Patrick Beckert was an alternate for the 1000m, so when one skater went down injured, it might as well have been glory calling. But he didn't answer, because his cell phone was turned off. [Bild]...
Former Bulldog Returns To School To Beat Up Freshman
Knowshon Moreno, now with the Broncos, is being questioned by police regarding a bar fight in Athens this weekend. But the accuser's story is a little sketchy, because Moreno allegedly punched him so hard he can't remember him doing it....
Lionel Hollins Would Like To Give A Hand. A Terrifying, Terrifying Hand.
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Randy Hustle, Giving It His All
Randy Moss, already vaguely unhappy in New England, took part in an NFL charity softball game. He hit what looked like an easy infield fly...want to guess whether he ran it out or not?...
Silver Medal Winners Just Miserable Bastards, Report Bored Scientists
I guess there's some truth to the phrase "second place is the first loser." Olympians have been shown to be much more satisfied with a bronze than a silver, even though it's clearly the Jan Brady of medals....
Howard Stern Prank Caller Fools ESPN
SportsCenter was so thrilled to get "Brian Westbrook" on the phone, they skipped a very important step: making sure it was actually Westbrook, and not a Stern disciple expressing his desire to worship Stern's prostate....
Time For A Little Perspective On Mascot's Weiner Maiming
We've been waiting all day for Posnanski to weigh in on Sluggerrr's hot dog mishap. Finally, he puts it in context. (Spoiler alert: it's certainly not out of character for the Royals.) [Posnanski]...
Tiger Woods Apologizes To A Bunch Of Toddlers
No, that headline doesn't refer to the wire services so loathed by Craggs. The Woods family wrote a note of apology to their daughter's daycare classmates....
Facial Hair Most Pressing Issue In NL Champs Camp
Jayson Werth's beard has been the talk of Phillies spring training. Because this is clearly more important than a lack of a bullpen, there's already an official site for photoshops. [Jayson Werth Beards]...
Blame Canada, Says Canada
Somebody's got to be the scapegoat for the host nation's disappointing medal count. The athletes, for not living up to expectations? The COC for setting unrealistic expectations? The fans for being too passionate? Bingo....
Boner Stabone Is Missing At The Olympics
If you find yourself in and around Vancouver for tonight's epic US/Canada matchup, do be on the lookout for Mike Seaver's best bud. His friends and family are very worried....
DDate.com - The Leading Douchebag Singles Network
Now, remind me again, which aspect of this ad for a dating website was supposed to entice women? Was it the sideways pseudo-gang sign? The fact that he's at Cowboys Stadium, so clearly a fan? Or the t-shirt insinuating rape?...
Laugh At This Rabbit Disaster And You'll Go To Hell. I'll See You There.
The roof collapsed at a rabbit exhibition in Sweden. It's very sad, but in a Mary Tyler Moore, "Chuckles The Clown" sort of way. Since no humans were injured, the story just gets more hilarious the more you read....
Best In The World? Not Even Best In Northern Minnesota
This explains everything. Our men's curling team managed to lose their most recent Tuesday night league game at the Duluth Curling Club. To be fair, it is the place to be on Tuesday nights in Duluth. [NY Times]...
Oregon Pretty Much Imploding Before Our Very Eyes (UPDATE)
Oregon football is turning into an outlaw program right in front of us. But one Ducks senior has had just about enough of you people making a big deal of it. You "white people," he means....
There's No Such Thing As A Free Lunch, Unless You've Got A Media Pass
One blog needs your help compiling every instance of a beat writer Tweeting about food during spring training. This is why journalism grants were invented. [Punk On Deck]...
Hipsters Slipping On Ice; What More Could You Want?
We've had icy sidewalks here in New York lately. Hazardous, but entertaining. Here's an excellent montage of a streetcorner in the heart of hipsterdom, Williamsburg, featuring three solid minutes of neckbeards and lumberjack hats eating pavement....
Jim Harbaugh Knows What The Kids Like
First of all, I'm shocked to find out that they only split two years ago, instead of ten. Jim, you could probably hire them to cut the grass at Stanford Stadium before they play their set. [Twitter]...
Here's John Daly In His Underwear, Because I Hate You
Might Daly have a post-golf career as an underwear model lined up? One thing's for certain: Daly had better have a post-golf career lined up....
She Also Doesn't Finish On Top, Nudge Nudge, Wink Wink, Say No More
Odd headline from the front page of the Orlando Sentinel sports section: "Danica Patrick won't toot your flute or mess up her lipstick." Very 1950s, in both sexism and euphemism. [Orlando Sentinel]...