billyhaisley Page 30 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Lionel Messi Is All Alone
It’s a funny thing, talking about what an athlete deserves. Sports are the ultimate results-oriented business, where no matter how much you love your mother or how kind and considerate you are to lovers and waiters or even how well you played in any given game, if the final whistle blows and you loo...
Harry Kane's Stoppage-Time Goal Sends England To The World Cup
Of course it had to be Harry Kane, England’s captain on the night, the so-called “one-year wonder” who has been defying skeptics with an unending deluge of goals for about three years now, his home nation’s one true world-class player, who came to England’s rescue tonight. After a fairly drab displa...
Barcelona's Empty Stadium Match Lets Us Hear How Everyone Loves To Yell At Luis Suárez
Ever wonder what exactly players in the heat of a match talk about out there on the pitch? Well, thanks to Barcelona’s decision to play in an empty stadium last weekend due to the political turmoil in Catalonia, and because of the always stellar work by the Spanish soccer show El dia después, we now...
Bad Fan Beans Referee With Fountain Drink Cup
As is sadly typical of small-time soccer leagues, last night an MLS referee was on the receiving end of some physical abuse by a fan. One idiot in the stands at the Atlanta United-Minnesota United match decided to chuck their cup of water at the ref, dinging him right on the shoulder:...
Bad Soccer Teams Should Stop Shooting Their Own Dicks Off By Playing From The Back
Hey, shitty teams. A humble request: How about you stop giving up the easiest goals imaginable, making enormous errors in some misguided effort to play “beautiful soccer” and build up play from the back, and instead just lump the ball forward when facing your betters? This scourge must be stopped....
Goalkeeper Gifts Arsenal A Goal With Atrocious Boner
Playing out from the back can be good. It’s great to have a goalkeeper who is good with his feet and comfortable passing the ball around with opponents zipping at him. But this kind of dicking around on the ball and giving it straight to an opponent in literally the worst area of the pitch is unforg...
Basel Player Turns Into The Flash, Jets Down Entire Length Of Pitch And Scores
I don’t know much about Dimitri Oberlin other than he is a forward who plays for Basel and he has the kind of unlimited stamina and electric speed that can only be compared to superheroes. Here he is demonstrating this with a jaw-dropping run in yesterday’s Champions League match against Benfica:...
Neymar Ignores Edinson Cavani During Goal Celebration, But I'm Sure It's Totally Fine
PSG beat Bayern Munich by a score of 3-0 in the Champions League today. Edinson Cavani scored his team’s second goal after being set up nicely by Kylian Mbappé. Here is video of that goal, which you should watch for the goal’s coolness and for Cavani’s demonstrated happiness after he scores, but you...
Check Out This Romanian Soccer Dude's Boomerang-Curved Golazo
The only way Claudiu Bumba, winger for Romania’s Concordia Chianjna, was going to overcome the terrible angle and distance from which he decided to pop a shot in today’s match against Dinamo București was if he put a truly insane amount of curl on the ball to get it to fly into the far corner. Which...
All Soccer In Uruguay Suspended After Refs Savagely Beaten During Youth Match
This past Saturday, towards the end of a U-19 match between Uruguayan clubs Platense and Basáñez, two referees were attacked by a group of around 20 spectators and players. In response to this act of violence and others like it, the Uruguayan soccer federation decided to suspend all play throughout ...
Manchester City's Goal-Scorers Are Abundant And Ruthless
When you bring Pep Guardiola in to manage your team and give him roughly one hundred thousand trillion pounds to buy practically an entire new squad, you expect trophies and pretty play and goals. Like so many goals you can’t remember all the goals. Such a steady diet of goals and only goals that yo...
Sparta Rotterdam Keeper Saves Deluge Of Point-Blank Shots By Morphing Into Spider-Man
Soccer highlights generally depict the cool things players do to beat goalkeepers en route to scoring, but sometimes it’s the goalkeeper himself who plays the hero and earns himself immortalization in the form of a breathlessly titled Youtube video. No keeper deserves this treatment more than Sparta...
Bayern Munich's Awful Backup Keeper Is Demonstrating How Great Manuel Neuer Is
If walking the Bundesliga, winning the World Cup, and consolidating his place as the world’s very best goalkeeper weren’t enough to win Manuel Neuer the Ballon d’Or in 2014, when he finished third in the voting, then maybe atrocious blunders like this one today by Sven Ulreich, Bayern’s No. 2 keeper...
The Future Of American Soccer Might Be Barron Trump?!?
Christian Pulisic. Matt Miazga. Josh Sargent. These are some of the budding talents soccer fans in the States hope will develop and flourish and eventually Make America Great At Soccer For The First Time. And it seems we’ve found another young upstart to add to that list. That youngster is none othe...
Now Carlos Tevez Is Just Openly Talking Shit About Chinese Soccer
Carlos Tevez has always been a man incapable of even pretending to give a single fuck. So it shouldn’t be too much of a surprise to hear that his response to his Chinese Super League team manager’s accusations that he is too fat to play was not getting into shape, but instead taking a flamethrower t...
Stephen Jackson Has "No Respect" For Kevin Durant After His Deeply Lame Twitter Behavior
Some people feel that Kevin Durant’s sneak-dissing of his former Thunder teammates and coach through the apparent attempted use of a dummy Twitter account to argue with Twitter randos shows Durant’s humanity, his normalcy, his relatability. Others, like former NBA star Stephen Jackson, have correctl...
Radio Host Don La Greca Snaps Again, This Time Over Stat Nerds
The New York Giants have had a bad start to the season. This is something that everyone, including YES Network radio host Don La Greca, can agree on. What La Greca will not countenance, however, are people who seek to mitigate the Giants’ badness by using fancy stats. For those people, La Greca has ...
Tottenham Fans Make A Very ... Interesting Lion King-Inspired Music Video
So, this video. It sure is something. Specifically, it is a group of Tottenham fans performing their Spurs-themed version of The Lion King’s “Circle of Life,” named “Tottenham For Life.” You should listen to it. It is, uhh, interesting....
What Is <i>Mother! </i>About?
Here’s a question: Should you go see Mother!, the new, polarizing, bearshit-insane film written and directed by Darren Aronofsky and starring Jennifer Lawrence and Javier Bardem that everyone is talking about though apparently no one saw and the few who did see it had no idea what in God’s name was ...
This Penalty Kick Really Sucks Ass
Your first reaction to this video of former Colombia national team striker Teófilo Gutiérrez pulling off one of the worst penalty kicks you’ll ever see will probably be to laugh and laugh and laugh....