This Penalty Kick Really Sucks Ass

Your first reaction to this video of former Colombia national team striker Teófilo Gutiérrez pulling off one of the worst penalty kicks you’ll ever see will probably be to laugh and laugh and laugh.

Upon closer inspection, you may notice just how awful the sandpit-masquerading-as-grass underneath the painted penalty spot is, and how the ball sort of hops up in the air right as Teo lands his plant foot and readies his strike, which might cause you to reach the conclusion that this flub wasn’t really all Gutiérrez’s fault. But don’t let that fact blind you to the enduring hilarity of this truly garbage penalty attempt, for even if the weak effort wasn’t primarily due to Gutiérrez’s own blundering, he still has to stand there and stew in the humiliation of it all. He’s a big boy, he can take our laughter.