billyhaisley Page 93 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Andros Townsend Waves Hi To Media Hater After Great International Goal
Andros Townsend isn't a great player, but then again, England aren't a great team, so it isn't too much of a surprise that the Spurs winger was called up during this international break, nor that he managed to blast home the tying goal in today's 1-1 draw against Italy. Well, not a surprise to us....
Brek Shea Pounds A Free Kick Into The Top Corner To Give USMNT Lead
Ooooh, there's that boy Brek Shea! Maybe he did learn something on those cold, rainy Wednesday nights with Stoke's U21 team, after all!...
Gareth Bale Has Ugly Shot And Dumb Headband, Still Hits Half-Court Shots
Hm, this is a tough one. You’d think maybe Gareth Bale would flaunt going 3-of-5 in this half-court challenge thing, because damn, that’s some pretty good shooting. But then you remember what his awkward shooting motion looks like, and how goofy he looks with that headband, and you think, You know G...
Adorable Soccer Man Juan Mata Has The Most Adorable Blog
Just looking at Juan Mata gives the impression that you're looking into the eyes of the sweetest, most helpful librarian who just oh-by-the-way happens to be a phenomenal soccer player. His slight build, his boyish face paradoxically covered with a lumberjack's stubble, his impressive command of Eng...
Thierry Henry Shows He's Still Got It With Ridiculous Fake-Shot Pass
Few things in sports are better than that collective "Ohhhhh" you hear from a soccer crowd when a player pulls off a stunning bit of skill like Thierry Henry's little move here. Commentator guy is right, even if it was only in the Steven Gerrard Testimonial, this is "one of the most ridiculous passe...
Zlatan Uses Powerful Hypnosis To Force Keeper Into Shocking Mistake
Some sort of devious eye magic only known by the most learned of warlocks is the only rational explanation for why Moldova's keeper decided to play an inch-perfect cross off of Zlatan Ibrahimović's forehead for the Swede to redirect into the goal (warning: autoplay video):...
Harry Kane Scores In His International Debut, Is Soon To Be Crowned King
All week leading up to today's England-Lithuania Euro 2016 Qualifier, the only thing anyone could talk about was Harry Kane. Will he start? Should he start? Where will he play? How do we make more of him? Coming into the match, you'd have thought the season's Premier League breakout star would get e...
![Russian Goalkeeper Takes A Flare To The Back Of His Head [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/b1vrgcsgmfyluojzwwj4.gif)
Russian Goalkeeper Takes A Flare To The Back Of His Head [UPDATE]
In today's Euro 2016 qualifier between Montenegro and Russia, a flare from the stands hit Russian keeper Igor Akinfeev in the head. Ouch. Here's another look:...
1931 Op-Ed Eviscerates "Hypocrisy ... Utter Cowardice" Of College Sports
It's heartening to realize that the general sentiment toward the scam that is collegiate amateurism seems to have come around to the Death To The NCAA worldview. What's gone unappreciated, though, is just how long the fight to expose the fraudulent governance of amateur sports has been going on. The...
USMNT Felled By Hat-Trick Hero Nicklas Bendtner, Who Still Sucks
For the first time this year—at least the first time we'd like to remember—a fit and strong USMNT squad got some run. The opponent was Denmark, stiff competition to be sure. So while USMNT fans could've justifiably been cautiously pleased with the 2-1 lead our boys took into the final 10 minutes of ...
Here Are Some EPL Hooligans Brawling, Because That's What They Do Best
"OY, AN' WOT 'ID I 'EAR YOU SAY ABOUT ME MUM?!" one West Ham fan presumably asked the Sunderland fan across from him. Squaring up, the Sunderland hooligan probably said, "YOU 'EARD ME, MATE. ME AN' ME LADS GAVE OL' MUMSIE A GOOD BOFFIN', BUT YOU'RE GONNA LOOK EVEN WORSE THAN THAT OL' HAG WHEN WE'AH ...
Here's Steven Gerrard's Final Liverpool-Man United Match In Its Entirety
Steven Gerrard made sure his final match in the Liverpool-Manchester United rivalry was a memorable one, but not in the way he'd have hoped. After coming on as a sub at halftime, he received the ball six times, played five passes, made one crunching tackle that could've gotten him a yellow, and ulti...
Exquisite Juan Mata Scissor Kick Put Man United 2-0 Up On Liverpool
In what was a fairly insane second half of today's huge Liverpool-Manchester United match, there was at least one moment of brilliance to break up the surrounding nuttiness. That was the criminally underused Juan Mata scoring his second goal of the game in acrobatic fashion....
A Virginia Fan And Leet Haxor Wrote Us A Nice Letter
Earlier today, I published a post detailing why I will be wishing a swift and ignominious exit for the Virginia Cavaliers from the NCAA Tournament, centering mostly on the character of the school's students and alumni. We've since received this email from one of said UVa fans, republished in full:...
If You Like Painful Basketball And Dickhead Fans, Root For Virginia
Look, I'm not going to complain about Virginia's style of play here. You don't need to read the umpteenth article telling you that there's not much joy to be found in watching their version of rockball which involves, on offense, walking the ball up the court, wheeling man after man around the perim...
Here's Your 2014-15 Champions League Quarterfinals Draw
After all the action in the Champions League's Round of 16 wrapped up on Wednesday, we now know the matchups for the quarterfinals. The loose theme here seems to be "There Will Be Rematches."...
Lionel Messi And Cristiano Ronaldo Find Their Final Forms
For a depressingly large group of actuarial soccer fans, this season's thrilling edition of the duel between temporally and cosmically entwined superstars Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi has mainly served as another set of cudgels to club down the other's reputation and legacy. Go deeper, becau...
Teamwork Is Helping To Hide Your Buddy's Dong While He Pees On The Bench
If you ever wanted to know how close the Sevilla players are with each other, this is your answer....
Olivier Giroud Is Good At Everything Except His Job
That right there is the quintessential pose of Olivier Giroud. His head tilted skyward, his face tightened into a pained grimace, his hands slowly making their way upward to his eyes or hair as he attempts to rub away the memory of whatever near-chance he was just unable to put away....
Why Would Gareth Bale Want To Go Back To England?
There's a battle for Gareth Bale's soul being waged in the media of two different countries. On one side, you have the Spanish press expressing the frustrations of their readers by bashing the player's lazy, timid displays on the pitch. On the other, the press in Bale's native Britain is using its...