billyhaisley Page 99 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Philipp Lahm Has Too Much Pride To Slum It In MLS As An Old Guy
MLS has had a headline-grabbing past month or so, as scrubs both old and young join, try to join, or are rumored to join the league. The Germany and Bayern Munich captain Philipp Lahm was asked by L'Equipe about his plans for when his career winds down, and he has his sights set a little higher than...
Reporter Asks Rex Ryan A Very Poorly Phrased Question About Defense
No, silly, his thing is feet....
Barcelona Respond To Chaos With Best Win Of The Year
In the picture above, which captures a scene from Barcelona's 3-1 victory over Atlético Madrid last night, you can see Barcelona's entire season. It shows Luis Suárez, Neymar, and Lionel Messi—the three players whose individual brilliance has kept the team in the hunt for all the major trophies de...
Francesco Totti Scores With Flying Kung Fu Kick, Celebrates With Selfie
Somehow, it's not really a shock to see the 38-year-old Francesco Totti still scoring goals in his 23rd season with Roma with outrageous bits of athleticism like the goal below. What is surprising is that the old man actually knows what a selfie is....
Tommy Craggs Is Not The Badass You Think He Is
You'd think that, with the legendary reputation of the one and only Tommy Craggs, the man whose career output is basically 13,048 unique and erudite ways to tell his peers in the sports writing world "Fuck you," the man who literally ruined a great job opportunity by farting on an ant in the employ ...
Bears DB Arrested For DUI While Speeding To Parent-Teacher Conference
Chicago Bears cornerback Tim Jennings was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence around noon on Wednesday. Pulled over for going 99 mph in a 65 mph zone, when asked to explain why he was going so fast, Jennings reportedly told the officer he was late for his kid's parent-teacher confer...
How Long Can Southampton Realistically Keep This Run Going?
We figured that, by the turn of the year, we'd have a better idea of what exactly Southampton were. Are they a real threat to the Premier League's giants? Are they a club that could hang on to their top-four place? Or is their hot first half of the season a blip, a bit of good fortune that would soo...
Deadspin Up All Night: Back Spitting Facts Now
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Think of the other people in your home when you set that thermostat....
Mario Balotelli Caught Sliding Into Some Teenage Girls' Instagram DMs
Most of the time, Mario Balotelli is really good at Instagram. Sometimes, though, he messes up. First, it was posting a dumb internet meme (that, to be fair, elicited an even dumber response by the braindead English FA). Now, we find him hitting on a couple 19-year-old Icelandic girls in their DMs...
Club Disaster Or Not, Neymar, Suárez, And Messi Will Still Fuck You Up
Sure, the world might be falling down around them right now, but put Lionel Messi, Neymar, and Luis Suárez on the pitch, and they're going to wreck shit regardless. The three forwards have all gotten on the score sheet as Barcelona lead Elche 3-0 in the Copa del Rey. Here's how it happened:...
Barcelona Are A Complete Disaster
Barcelona is burning. A glance at the horizon in the direction of Spain and you can see the flames licking the sky, centered on the city's biggest attraction, FC Barcelona's Camp Nou. The fire, which has been smoldering quietly for years now, has already caused considerable damage: the play on the f...
Steven Gerrard's Move To The L.A. Galaxy Is Now Official
It looked certain last week, and now it is; Steven Gerrard will play in MLS next season for the L.A. Galaxy. (Probably.)...
The Biggest Dude In The World Just Scored Against Liverpool
They don't make 'em like Adebayo Akinfenwa too often. The man-mountain stands at five-foot-eleven, has to be pushing 200 pounds, and can reportedly bench press damn near 400 pounds. That's how you get a world's-best 97 strength rating in the FIFA games....
Gucci Mane And His Enormous Gut Flaunt Boxing Skills
Watching this video of Gucci Mane going through a boxing workout seemingly in his living room—which, why?—you're immediately struck by two things: one, dude has no form, but I'm still not anxious to be on the other side of those shots; and two, man alive, that is one massive belly....
Lionel Messi Shows Off Unreal First Touch On Japanese Game Show
Yeah, we’ve seen that left foot of Lionel Messi’s cushion soccer balls flying at him from all different angles in game, but how about making him boot the ball about 60 feet into the air over a bar, sprint over to where it falls, and try to control it? Yep, still no problem....
Fans Righteously Pissed At Realizing NYCFC Is A Glorified Farm Team
The strange Frank Lampard/NYCFC/Manchester City love triangle always felt like it was going to end in a bit of a train wreck, with Lampard's stay with City set to end this month and the MLS expansion club counting on him to be its face. Well, that train just jumped the tracks: Lampard is staying in ...
How Liverpool's New Formation Saved A Disastrous Season
It's taken about, oh, half a season for Liverpool to look anything like the free-flowing, attacking side that should've won the Premier League last season, but if Monday's 4-1 dismantling of Swansea is anything to go by, they might've finally gotten back to their best....
<i>Black Messiah </i>Transcends The Cult Of D'Angelo, But Just Barely
In light of all the hoopla surrounding the surprise mid-December release 0f D’Angelo’s long-gestating new album, Black Messiah, it’s a little strange that despite all the rhapsodic praise that quickly followed—it’s classic, it’s revolutionary, it’s a miracle, etc.—curious agnostics can’t seem to g...
Greek Club Such A Disaster, Manager Quits For Second Time This Season
OFI Crete manager Gennaro Gattuso has come to realize that it's kind of hard to motivate yourself and your players when the club refuses to pay salaries, makes you pay certain club expenses, and constantly finds new creditors they owe money to, leading to possible transfer bans and point deductions....
Arsenal Starlet Gedion Zelalem Gets U.S. Citizenship; USMNT Fans Rejoice
We're gonna get Gedion, we're gonna get Gedion! Nanna nanna boo boo, Germany, go stick your hand in scheiße!...