dashiell-bennett-old Page 30 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tennessee's "Hostess" Program Catches Recruits' (And NCAA's) Eyes (Updated)
The New York Times has a verrrrry interesting story about an NCAA investigation at Tennessee, concerning recruiting "hostesses"—i.e., hot Tennessee co-eds who get quite friendly with talented high school football players. (Updates below)...

Last Night's Winner: Curtis Granderson
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Curtis Granderson, who no longer has to carry the hopes and dreams of a shattered city on his shoulders. Plus, there's less running to do....

Guns, Booze, and Saints Fans: A Drama In One Act
Even if this turns out to be a viral video for Smith and Wesson, you kind of know this really happened somewhere in Louisiana, right? [YouTube, thanks Ed!]...

Brendan Witt Is Probable (Car Accident)
The Islanders defenseman was hit by a truck while walking in Philadelphia today, but refused medical treatment and will be in the lineup tonight. He also visited the zoo and beat up a gorilla that looked at him funny. [Newsday/TSN]...

Matt Bullard Delivers His Color Commentary Directly To Refs
Remember Matt Bullard? Of course you do. He's now working the sidelines for the Rockets TV team and recently got so worked up about the poor officiating he was seeing, he decided to share his thoughts directly with the officials....

Friendly Texas-Nebraska "Discussion" Leads To Accidental Death
Two Marines got in a "friendly scuffle" while talking about the outcome of Big 12 Championship Game. Unfortunately, one of them forgot to put down his gun and now the other one is dead. [Sun Journal]...

Who Is Being Taken Away In An Ambulance From Tiger's House Now? (UPDATE)
Several blonde women of various ages may or may not have driven large vehicles from the Tiger Woods' household to a hospital and possibly back again in the latest craven attempt to keep the family's private life in the news....

Last Night's Winner: Shysters
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Utah Flash owner Brandt Andersen, who successfully duped 7,500 suckers into buying tickets to his arena by lying about Michael Jordan. It's a living....

Nerds, Fictional Characters Now Eligible For Heisman
A dude from Standford and someone who plays a made up position called "defensive tackle" are included alongside real football players as Heisman Trophy finalists. Sounds like a classic college prank....worthy of the Hasty Pudding gang! [SJ Mercury News]...

Charlie Weis Isn't Finished With You Yet
You thought Chuckles was out of your life forever, huh? Guess again, bozos, because this guy hasn't even started making everyone's life miserable. Pete Carroll, Touchdown Jesus, Bears fans....no one will escape the wrath of Weis....

NFL.com Gives The Fans A (Stupid, Racist) Voice
Like most websites, NFL.com sets aside space to highlight the wittiest, most intriguing comments from its legion of readers in a special place labeled, "The Crowd Has Spoken." Unfortunately, the crowd is mostly angry, illiterate jacknobs....

E.J. Henderson's Leg Should Not Bend That Way
In case you missed it, the Vikings' E.J. Henderson took a nasty shot last night....but Al Michaels had no problem breaking out the break talk for the guy with the broken femur. Break. [YouTube, D4L, SSF]...

Texas Wins The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Texas Longhorns, who won the weekend by not having to prove they were better than everyone else. Welcome to college football!...

Verne and Gary's Not-So-Excellent Adventure
If you're like me, you may have found the announcing during yesterday's SEC Championship Game to be....underwhelming. Here's a compilation of Verne Lundquist and Gary Danielson's greatest moments of confusion, obfuscation and outright lies....

English-American Alliance To Be Torn Asunder By Soccer
World Cup 2010 is going to be the Revolution and 1812 rolled into one and deep fried, only like....10,000 times more awesomer. Uncle Sam should lend-lease England a couple extra butts, so there's even more limey arse to kick!...

Comcast Continues To Find Hidden Subtext Of NBA Games
A reader sends us more evidence of a Comcast cable guide curator who is maybe missing the point of a particular NBA game. Unless Rasheed Wallace and Antonio McDyess have a secret love child that I haven't heard about....

Having Eli Manning's Autograph More Humiliating Than Losing To Eli Manning
In the catalog of manufactured outrage, it's hard to think of a dumber example than Dallas players somehow being angry at Eli Manning for signing a wall in the new Cowboys Stadium. Plaster has never been so disrespected!...

Rich Rodriguez: NCAA Investigation A Lot Like Hurricane Katrina
"It's really kind of ironic that the New Orleans Saints overcame the hurricane a few years back....We've had a few hurricanes of our own. We had a big hurricane in August....but don't tell me this team is a failure." [Freep/Detroit4Lyfe]...

Last Night's Winner: LeGarrette Blount
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Oregon's LeGarrette Blount (not pictured) who only played two games this season, but left his mark on both. And on a couple of faces....

Michigan State's Teamwork Shines In Dorm Brawl
The Spartans have suspended eight more players (including three starters) for their role in the a dorm donnybrook last month. That's not counting the two that have already been kicked off the team. They're really starting to gel! [StateNews, Freep]...