dashiell-bennett-old Page 70 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Florida Puts Bulletin Board Material On Actual Bulletin Board
What's the secret to winning back-to-back BCS Championships? Photocopying anything anyone ever says about you and putting it on a giant freakin' wall, obviously. Oh, and some magic markers would help....
Ice Cream Does Not Belong On Your Face, Kid
Seriously, why is this kid at the Italy-Brazil game rubbing his ice cream bar on his face? Not to sound like a busybody, but where are his parents? I think the state may need to get involved here. [YouTube]...
The Real Reason For Egypt's Soccer Loss?: Thieving Gangs Of Hookers
A 3-0 loss to the hapless United States was embarrassing enough, but Egyptian soccer may be more embarrassed by reports that the team was robbed by prostitutes they brought back to their hotel. At least one explains the other....
Sidney Crosby's Wild Stanley Cup Orgy
I know this is every man's fantasy, but does Sid the Kid know where that Cup has been? Wrap it up, buddy. [Sports Crackle Pop, via TheScore]...
Australian Rules Football Finds Its Visanthe Shiancoe
How are Australian and American football different? Down Under, the ball is larger, the field is round, and the players don't wear helmets. Any similarities? Well, on both continents, footballers have no problem showing their wang on live TV....
John Daly's Bus Does Not Fit In There
John Daly's Magic Bus continues to roll around the country, but it's running a little bit lower than usual after he knocked off the top going through a low-clearance tunnel....
Donald Fehr Stepping Down As Head Of Player's Association
After shepherding the MLB Players' Association through nearly 25 years of labor strife, executive director Donald Fehr is calling it a job ... done. We'll always (not) have 1994. [ESPN]...
Yankees-Marlins Fan Brawl Reveals Truth Of The Human Condition, With Punching
YouTube is filled with grainy cellphone videos of drunken bleacher brawls, but few capture the drama, action, suspense, and heartbreaking childhood trauma of this donnybrook from the Yankees-Marlins series. It's like the Citizen Kane of stadium fan fight clips....
Lucas Glover Wins The U.S. Open
It's all over, folks. Glover holds on to win a messy five-day U.S. Open. More below:...
The Trials of Willie, The Inflatable Dry-Humping Shark
Willie, the mighty Tiburón, is the air-assisted mascot of a popular junior soccer team in Colombia. Unfortunately, Willie's enthusiasm occasionally gets the better of him and he recently got suspended for disrespecting an opposing team. With his crotch....
U.S. Open Should Begin Any Day Now
After four days of interminable, Noah's Ark-like rain, it's my understanding that the US Open golf thingy will actually start sometime today. Oh, they already started—and stopped—the fourth round in the darkness last night? How lucky....
Tony Mandarich's Porno Revenge Web Site (UPDATED)
Tony Mandarich's ex-fiancee is suing the world's most famous draft bust because she claims that he set up a porn website under her name to embarrass her with pictures of her doing dirty, dirty things. That's not very gentlemanly....
Anxiety Disorder Stops Dontrelle Willis Again
So I guess The D-Train doesn't have it all figured it out. There were signs of promise, but after a couple of horrendous starts—8 walks in 3.2 IP on Sunday—Willis is back on the DL (head case)....
Ed O'Bannon Would Like To Be In Basketball After All
After not hearing his name in years, you now have two Ed O'Bannon updates in one week. Why? Because after a lengthy discussion about how he's finally come to terms with life after basketball, basketball is back in his life....
Troy Polamalu Joins The Iranian Resistance
First Ohio State, now Pittsburgh? The I-70 corridor is very big in Tehran. [PSAMP]...
Wade Boggs Does Not Like Steroids In His Apple Pie
What do you get when you combine a 3,000-hit Hall Of Famer, apple pie, a bucket of Miller High Life, and a microphone? An epic anti-steroid rant from Wade Boggs. Stop cheating Americana, baby!...
Financial Scammer Robs NHL Players To Throw Raunchy Parties For MLB Greats (And Joe Morgan)
There are many tales of financial woe to emerge from our economic meltdown, but few are more bizarre than the developer who bilked NHL players out of millions of dollars—only to lavish it on ex-baseball players?...
Donte' Stallworth Suspended Indefinitely
Thus spake Goodell and his vengeance was swift and terrible. You do realize Stallworth's NFL punishment will likely be worse than the one he received from the State Of Florida? [Miami Herald]...
Imaginary League Holds Fantasy Draft
The UFL Draft is tonight. No one knows the rules and the results won't be announced, but that's okay because no one knows when the season starts or where the teams are even located. Catch the fever! [PFT; StockLemon; Yahoo]...