dashiell-bennett-old Page 96 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Welcome To The Day Everyone On The Internet Thinks They're A Freakin' Comedian
• Foolish: Andrew Bynum also did very well in the playmate hula hoop competition. Man, why don't I ever get to go to rehab? [Yardbarker]...

All Your Hopes And Fears Will Be Revealed Once You Open ... "The Door"
The Door is blowing up! It has devotees, worshipers, even its own Facebook fan group. The vigil continues....

Michael Westbrook Is Beating People Up Again
• Wait, he was supposed to do that? The former wideout is somehow a jiu-jitsu master? What's the name of the jiu-jitsu move where you punch a teammate in the back of the head? [D.C.SportsBog]...

Tyler Hansbrough, In All His White Doughy Glory
While watching the UNC-Oklahoma game with a friend who knows nothing about college basketball, she suddenly blurted out, "What's wrong with that guy's face? Why won't he close his mouth?"...

It Looks Like Andrew Bynum's Knee Is Just Fine
The Lakers' center played in a golf/Playmate-lifting contest at the Playboy Mansion Saturday, despite not playing an NBA game since January because of a bad knee. To be fair, she is filled with helium. [SI]...

Calipari Watch, Day 2: Pretty Blonde Reporter Is Latest Victim Of The Madness
A Deadpsin operative checked into "Door Watch '09" last night to find that the Memphis Athletic Department had been replaced by an adorable blonde reporter. You can imagine how the comment horde dealt with that....

This Is Why You Shouldn't Loan Out Your Home For Drug Murders
Jonathan Vilma doesn't play for New York anymore and hasn't lived in his Long Island condo for two years, but that doesn't mean he should let his drug-dealing "cousin" carry out executions in the kitchen....

A Night At The Garden With Sean Avery And Friends
Last night, I went to Madison Square Garden for the first time since I caught the circus there at age four, and one thing was immediately clear—Ranger fans love Sean Avery....

Tigers Don't Need Gary Sheffield After All
Detroit has dumped their $14 million DH with 499 career home runs. Oh, don't worry ... he gets to keep the money! [MLB; But The Game Is On]...

A Talent For The 21st Century
• Jose Lima would never hurt you like that: The Long Beach Armada has won a $250,000 lawsuit against Jose Canseco. Yeah, good luck collecting on that. [Ballpark Digest]...

John Calipari Is Walking Through That Door (Maybe)
A local Memphis TV station has set up a live web feed of a camera trained on the door to the Memphis Athletic Department offices. It is riveting....

The Slow Descent Into Madness Of Mel Kiper Jr.
• ON THE CLOCK!: Photographic evidence of Todd McShay's mind control over his mock draft rival. [The Sports Hernia Blog]...

Paul Pierce Now Inviting Strangers To Harass Him On The Street
At what point will the NBA Twitter obsession be fully out of control? Or did that ship sail long ago? Paul Pierce is now the latest victim of this social media dork madness....

How Do You Solve A Problem Like Bemidji?
No. 4-seed (that's as low as they get) Bemidji State is headed to its first Frozen Four, along with Boston U., Vermont and Miami. (Yes, of Ohio.) I just enjoy saying "Bemidji." [Star-Tribune; NYT]...

Orioles' Radio Station Turns Rain-Delay Into "Canceled" Game
Fans in Baltimore waiting for the Orioles game to resume yesterday after a 90-minute rain delay may have been confused when the game resumed, but the radio crew calling the action was nowhere to be found....

Tiger Woods Now Fully Armed And Operational
GolfBot 5000 birdied 18 to complete a five-stroke comeback and destroy yet another helpless victim yesterday at Bay Hill. Golf was fun while it lasted, huh, folks? [Los Angeles Times]...

Should John Calipari Sell His Soul To Kentucky?
ESPN is reporting that Memphis coach John Calipari met with Kentucky officials at an "undisclosed location" on Sunday and is mulling a "mega mega" offer to jump ship and lead the Wildcats....

This Is Not The Way To Watch The NCAA Tournament
This was the view I had of the Elite Eight games this weekend ... from my hospital bed. Don't worry—all the channels didn't come in that badly—only the one showing college basketball....

NCAA Sweet 16: (1) North Carolina vs. (4) Gonzaga
East Region: No. 1 North Carolina (30-4) vs. No. 4 Gonzaga (28-5) When: Thursday, 9:57 p.m., EDT Where: FedExForum, Memphis, Tennessee NORTH CAROLINA TAR HEELS 1) Make it Wayne Let's get this out of the way for those waking from comas: Tyler Hansbrough is the ACC's all-time leading scorer and Tywo...