david-roth Page 11 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
A Dramatic Reading Of Bryan Colangelo's Resignation As GM Of The Philadelphia 76ers
Is this the stupidest thing we’ve ever put on the website? Uh, sound off in the comments I guess. I’m just really sorry about all this....
Just How Extremely Over Are The NBA Finals?
Let me take you inside the game for a moment: we record the Deadcast a little while before you actually hear the Deadcast. It is not, despite the seamlessly integrated ads and effortlessly fluid riffage, a live show. When we recorded this one on Wednesday morning, the NBA Finals were not quite as ex...
The NFL Is Too Dumb To Realize That Donald Trump Is Never Going To Stop With This Shit
There is a story—which is usually described as a poem but is more precisely a muddled version of a song written by the jazz singer Oscar Brown Jr.—that Donald Trump delights in reading to crowds at his campaign rallies. Trump refers to it as “The Snake” and his fans know it by that name. “Who likes ...
Kumar Rocker, Seth Beer, Owen Sharts, And The Future Of The American Baseball Name
There are some people who follow college baseball because a publication or faintly queasy-making subscription-only scouting service or Major League Baseball team pays them to do it. There is a slightly larger group of people who follow it recreationally, apparently, and while I have definitely never...
Let's Remember Some Guys, Big Box Full Of Garbage, Volume III
You can’t really know what your life’s great work will be when you begin it. Our days are full to overfull with work, but so little of that feels important. This is not to say that all of it is bullshit, although for most everyone some significant portion of it is invariably bullshit. It’s just tha...
The Week That Twitter Wrecked Everyone
During this week, which is only about half over, some extremely overstated acts of Twitter-based idiocy have already led to the cancellation of ABC’s hit reboot of Roseanne, thanks to the latest extremely racist flare-up of star Roseanne Barr’s longstanding and apparently incurable case of Internet ...
Let's Remember Some Guys, Early '80s Fleer Mustache Dudes Edition
The Rememberer’s art is, for the most part, a lonely one. That is kind of portentous and serious-sounding, but it also seemed like a better way to begin this post than the thought it was intended to convey, which is “if you are someone who remembers a lot of rando middle reliever dudes from your you...
Donald Trump Definitely Needs Glasses
It wasn’t supposed to be this way. The plan was just to keep on honking away like big idiots about the NBA playoffs for as long as we possibly could, and Drew and I were certainly ready to hold up our end of that bargain. But the stupendous lameness of the NBA playoffs at this moment and the simulta...
A People's History Of Bill Simmons Making Up Corny Things For Boston Fans To Chant
There are any number of reasons why it’s easy to goof on Bill Simmons, and all of them are honestly pretty solid. Many of these have to do with the way he acts—grandiose and aggrieved and prickly-petty and, now that he’s ascended to demi-mogul status, prone to dilatory rich-guy extemporizing on The ...
In The Future, We Will All Gamble Constantly
The NBA Playoffs should be at something like their apex right now, and in the least entertaining possible sense they may well be. There are four notionally entertaining teams left, and they have combined through four games for maybe three entertaining quarters. The league’s biggest and most brillian...
Let's Remember Some Guys, Random Baseball Card Treasure Trove Volume II
In this week’s thrilling installment of Let’s Remember Some Guys, Lauren and I return to the treasure trove/antique printer box of unsolicited baseball cards mailed to our office by an unnamed benefactor in search of ... I should probably have figured out the conclusion to this sentence before I sta...
Jay Bruce Apparently Celebrated Being Traded Away From The Mets By Conceiving A Child<em></em>
The New York Mets, a team that began the season 11-1, lost their ninth game of their last 11 in Philadelphia on Sunday afternoon. Ace Noah Syndergaard, who was scheduled to start Saturday’s rained-out game against the Phillies, was skipped for reasons vague enough to be weird. Less-hairy co-ace Jaco...
The Rockets Aren't Fun To Watch
Spend a few days away from the drumbeat of dipshittery and various dreary outrages of Online and something happens to your brain. A bunch of things, actually, but I am thinking of one particular one—the mind, even the most web-damaged mind, returns to something like a normal state. This is not to sa...
Let's Remember Some Guys: Random Cards Mailed To Our Office Edition
The internet is lonesome and atomizing and weird, which is strange when you consider that Bringing People Together is the one aspect of its ostensible promise that is unquestionably a success. It’s probably not the internet’s fault that, having been brought together, everyone just immediately starte...
Mets Finally, Fully Break Up With Matt Harvey
Baseball is difficult and contingent and deeply cruel under the best of circumstances, and playing baseball for the New York Mets is not the best of circumstances. It is a big-league job and pays commensurately, and when things are going well it comes with a gaudy suite of perks and sweeteners, but ...
Deadcast Classics: Three Idiots Walk Into A Williams-Sonoma
In a universe that is similar to but not quite the same as this one, a new and very strange Deadcast would appear in this space. Drew would probably be more or less the same as usual, but as I had just gotten off an overnight flight on Wednesday morning, it’s a virtual certainty that I would have be...
Let's Remember Some Guys: 1991 Baseball Guys
Welcome back to Let’s Remember Some Guys, a web video series in which I attempt to remember things about the various podgy stache randos and big-swinging galoots who filled out the baseball card sets of my youth. When last we did the Remembering thing, I was mostly defeated by the collection of must...
Treat Yourself To Bartolo Colon's "Batters Faced" Page On Baseball Reference
If he hadn’t out-pitched Justin Verlander and completely baffled the defending world champions for seven innings on Sunday Night Baseball last week, there is a decent chance that Bartolo Colon might not have started another game for the Texas Rangers. The pitcher whose spot Colon filled last Sunday ...
Here's The Story Behind The Oafish Pro-Trump Ad That Ran During The NHL Playoffs Last Night
Virtually any day of the year, there is no real reason why you or anyone else should be watching CNBC. If you are someone who follows or cares about financial news, you really probably shouldn’t be watching television to keep up with it. If you are someone who likes watching a bunch of gray-faced ol...
Please Enjoy 84 Seconds Of The <i>American Ninja Warrior</i> Broadcast Team Losing Their Shit
The old institutions slouch and rot and tip towards collapse; the culture turns inward, agoraphobic and sleepless and helplessly in thrall to rancid idle fantasies of violence or narcotic visions of capitulation and release; the people in charge loot and lie and then go blank and soft before the ima...