Donald Trump Definitely Needs Glasses

It wasn’t supposed to be this way. The plan was just to keep on honking away like big idiots about the NBA playoffs for as long as we possibly could, and Drew and I were certainly ready to hold up our end of that bargain. But the stupendous lameness of the NBA playoffs at this moment and the simultaneous pyrotechnic awesomeness of the Stanley Cup playoffs demanded that we needed to do something. And so it was that we came to invite resident hockey-knower and current Deadspin nightmaster Lauren Theisen onto an Emergency Podcast—that is to say, one recorded at the same time we record every single week—to tell us what the hell is going on in the NHL.

It turns out that the answer is “quite a bit, actually.” Did you know that there’s a dang expansion team in the Stanley Cup Final? Did you know that they’re playing one of the most stupendously cursed and choke-prone franchises in the sport? You probably did! Drew, whose masochistic support for the Washington Capitals has finally been rewarded, definitely knew about it. But I did not, or at least I knew it only vaguely. It is rare that I can say this about a podcast in which I participated, but I learned a lot.

Which is not to say that we didn’t touch on the usual dumb shit. Lauren joined us in a wide-ranging discussion that touched on variously serious advice for new college graduates, the virtual certainty that Donald Trump needs glasses but refuses to wear them, and a spin through the Funbag that is notably heavy on Ted Danson appreciation. We will doubtless return to our familiar idiot pastures in weeks to come, but it turns out that there is a whole big to be wrong about. This week, we were truly a free range podcast, and it felt great.

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