drew-magary-old Page 5 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
<em>Inception</em> Was Great, Now Please Stop Talking About It, Assholes
I went and saw Inception on Friday night. I like any movie that includes mid-air hand-to-hand combat and Marion Cotillard's cleavage. But it's clear this movie is about to supplant "Lost" for annoying fanboy overanalysis....
Cockblocked by Nick Swisher! GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase a few heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
How To Protect Yourself From Excessive Rimjobbing
No time to waste. We again go right to your letters:...
How To Perfect Your Imaginary Serial Killer Technique
Your letters:...
Silent Farts Vs. Loud Farts — WHO YA GOT?!
I love to fart. I really do....
Cockblocked by Barry Zito. GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Great Moments In Wounded Rabbit Mercy Killing
Let's get right to your letters. We're in for a cocksuckin' good time today, cocksuckers....
LeBron James Is A Cocksucker
Tomorrow is the day LeBron James becomes the most unlikable person in the NBA, and perhaps all of American sports. I used to think he was okay a year ago. No more. He's the villain now....
The Mystery Of The Touch-Free Orgasm
Big funbag today. Right to your letters....
Deadspin Classic: A Comprehensive Ranking Of The Products Inside A Good Humor Truck
I scream! You scream! We all scream for profane and comprehensive reviews of chilled desserts! Sample: "Get fucked, Dippin Dots."...
Deadspin Classic: Your Fourth Of July Throwgasm Breakdown
Happy Fourth of July. Before you do your part and blow up a small portion of the country you love, travel back in time to the magical summer of 2008 with Drew's guide to the best and worst aspects of July 4th....
An Inside Look At A Failed Porn Shoot. GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
And Now, An Appreciation Of The Bra
I went to the doctor the other day. I was sentenced to wait in one of the examination rooms for roughly 90 minutes while the doctor played CALL OF DUTY in the next room over under the guise of supposedly saving other people's lives, or some bullshit like that. Anyway, they had the reflex tester layi...
How Many Famous People Are There On Earth?
Robert Byrd died today. You can check his scrawny old ass off you death pool now. And if anyone ever kept a death pool, the list of candidates could now go on for miles....
Cops Will Always Be Bastards. GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
The Fine Art Of Addressing Your Children’s Genitals
It's a blockbuster funbag today. We go right to your letters....
What’s The Best Way To Avoid Being Raped In Prison?
I was told by friend this weekend that it's a long-held bit of conventional wisdom that Asian women have, on average, warmer genitals than other women. I did not know this was a supposedly universal stereotype for dragon ladies, nor did anyone else in my company. We all knew the usual stereotypes ab...
Crucial Relationship Advice Spoken Drunkenly To Teenagers: Cheat On All Your Girlfriends
I went to a bachelor party this weekend in a seaside town. There was eating, and drinking, and a failed attempt to get two Polish Food Lion clerkettes to come over and massage the groom....
Cockblocked By The Bassist’s Poop! GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....