drew-magary-old Page 6 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
A Terrifying Story Of Unwanted Barber Arm Humping
No time to waste. I got a bachelor party to get to. There's gonna be a grill! And weed! And smores! I'd fist a horse for a smore. Your letters:...
Your Belated 2010 Hater’s Guide To World Cup
Like many of you, I'm largely indifferent to soccer most of the time. But one thing I'm never indifferent to is an opportunity to gleefully hate 31 lesser nations in the spirit of international competition....
Boot To The Face! GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Woody Paige And The Perils Of Public Displays Of Affection
An anonymous reader sent in this photo of Woody Paige goin' around the tongue with a fine lass at the Big Game bar in Denver. Here's the background....
The Real Reasons No One Wants To Serve In The Armed Forces Anymore
I had a weird pain in my side the other day, and I'm now at the age where I assume any odd pain in my body is a sure sign of aggressive and malignant cancer. What the fuck is that pain? Is there a lump? It kinda feels swollen, especially compared to my other side. And it hurts if I poke it really ha...
The Epitome of Douche: "Bros Icing Bros"
I went to a wedding this weekend and saw at least three bros (BRAH!) get iced. This retarded game needs to stop immediately. Right fucking now....
The Hidden Menace That Is The Scrotal Hydrocele
I went to the doctor a while back because I thought I had a hernia. It turned out I had something far less serious, and yet somehow far more horrifying....
Rotten Potato Edition! GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
The Funbag Demands You Respect The King Of Salad Dressings
I went to the dentist today to get a cleaning. And man, if there's anything that tickles worse than when the hygienist hits the roof of your mouth with that fucking polisher, I don't wanna find out what it is. When I die and am sentenced to Hell, they're gonna send me to Satan's tickling room, and t...
The Key To Beating Any Company Weed Test? JUST ADD WATER.
No time for tiddlywinks. I have to look into renting out some sort of dungeon or kennel for my four-year-old. Let's go right to your letters:...
Cockblocked By Fire Ants! GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
In Which We Search For The Ideal Masturbation Finishing Technique
No time to waste. Let's get right to your letters:...
Is The Dude Using The Printer Watching You Watch Porn?
I went into a fitting room the other day and the room had mirrors on three sides. This is fucking awesome. I'll never NOT feel like I've walked into the middle of Enter The Dragon when I encounter a room with this kind of arrangement. WHICH DREW IS THE REAL DREW?! Also, if you enjoy studying yoursel...
The Public Humiliation Diet: A How-To
I had terrible back pain and I needed to lose weight. I lost sixty pounds in five months. This is how I did it....
Gay Mexican Edition! GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Shouldn’t All Priests Be Castrated?
It's Tuesday. Let's look in the funbag and see what's inside. Oooh! Big League Chew! Man, do I love Big League Chew. It's like tobacco, but for children! Do I chew the entire pack all at once? FUCK AND YES, I do. Oh, and there are some letters in here. Let's read them....
A Special Balls Deep Message To The Class Of 2010
It's graduation time across the country. I've done this post the past two years running, and I don't see new college grads getting any less annoying. So we'd best do it again....