drewmagary Page 21 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
No ESPN Isn’t Losing Money Because It’s Liberal You Clueless Morons
ESPN is still going through the worst round of public layoffs in its history, and while the reasons why the company is firing everyone are plainly evident, there are still people out there ascribing the channel’s struggles to its political leanings (which, frankly, don’t even exist), and basking in ...
How To Suck At Being A Sports Media Critic<em></em>
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....
Which TV Shows Have The Most People Boned To?
Time for your letters! ...
Polish Sausage Vs. Italian Sausage … WHO YA GOT?!
This week’s Deadcast focuses on a number of topics, including the Mike and the Mad Dog 9/11 transcripts, the Aaron Hernandez suicide, and other instances where the sports-take machinery fully breaks down in the wake of real-world tragedy. But that’s not what you came here for now, is it? No, no ... ...
Mike Pence Is A Fucking Joke<em></em>
Say hello to our Elderly Lego Man Vice President, wearing his varsity Vice Presidenting jacket and standing, with an intensity reserved almost exclusively for constipation sufferers, near the Demilitarized Zone separating North and South Korea. Supposedly, Pence wasn’t meant to go outside during his...
The Time Has Come For <i>The Americans'</i> Philip Jennings To Defect
I like watching The Americans because I like watching two characters who are, without question, worse parents that I am. As much as I fuck up, I will never have to shield my kids from the fact that I have slaughtered dozens of innocent people, and I will not then attempt to indoctrinate the oldest o...
What Is The Worst Car Color?<em></em>
Former Deadspinner and biannual blogger Kyle Wagner told me yesterday that he got a three-piece from Popeyes and there was no thigh in the box. Can you imagine that? I’d fucking die if my Popeyes order didn’t have a thigh in it. That knob of skin fat that’s just hanging off? That’s the best part of ...
Look At This Fucking Asshole<em></em>
Behold idiot son-in-law Jared Kushner—the man now in charge of brokering Middle East peace, Uberizing the federal government, reforming the entire criminal justice system, and keeping Donald Trump’s hands off his wife. This perfect still frame from a David O. Russell film has also been put in charge...
Your Annual Reminder That Jim Nantz Is A Deeply Strange Breed Of Jackass
It’s Masters Week, which means that it’s time again to school you in the strange ways of CBS announcer, burnt-toast enthusiast, and general glass-of-skim-milk-made-into-a-person Jim Nantz. Rick Maese of the Washington Post did an excellent deep dive on Nantz this week and it’s filled with all kinds ...
The Evil New Toy Fad That Must Be Destroyed<em></em>
I was on single parent duty this weekend because the wife was on a gals’ vacation, so I took my older son to a soccer game and had to bring the younger one as well. And before we left, I asked the four-year-old, “You wanna use the bathroom?”...
Tony Romo: A Career In Takes
If Tony Romo deserves to be remembered for anything, it’s that he managed to make nearly everyone look fucking stupid....
Adrian Peterson Is In Exile
Two weeks ago, when the Minnesota Vikings signed free agent back Latavius Murray, general manager and honorary third Bayless brother Rick Spielman said publicly that the signing meant that Adrian Peterson will not be back with the team next season. Since then, Peterson has languished in free agency,...
The Las Vegas Raiders Are Screwed
The Raiders are moving to Vegas and are getting the most expensive stadium in history out of it in the process, but who exactly in gonna visit this monstrosity, especially on a Sunday, with no gambling allowed inside the joint? And how is this all a poorly veiled scheme to help enrich Jerry Jones? T...
And Now, A Formal Reading Of The Name Of The Year Bracket
The 2017 Name of the Year bracket has landed and, as always, the best way to properly judge entrants like Boats Botes is to say their names out loud for the world to hear. And that’s just what we’re doing in this FULLY ARMED AND OPERATIONAL return of the Deadcast....
Humorless Dickhole Business Writer Very Upset About March Madness Pools<em></em>
As much as we here at Deadspin like to poke fun at sportswriters and political hot-take artists, the truth is that business journalists may be the lowliest scum of all. We’re all horrified by Darren Rovell, and yet there’s only ONE of him in sports. Really, that man is just a business reporter in sp...
Knives, Ranked<em></em>
I had an annoying dream the other night where I was in an airport and missed a flight. I woke up, shook it off, and then went right back to sleep. And you know what happened? The dream CONTINUED. I shut my eyes and was right back with the fucking gate agent. You know how many times I’ve tried to kee...
The Deadcast Is Returning<em></em>
Hey you! Do you like awful takes? Do you like awkward pauses? Do you like hearing two people agree on topics because they didn’t put enough planning into preproduction? Do you like the sounds of dogs barking in the background? Well, do I have good news for you: The Deadcast is BACK. I think. I mean,...
Panels Are Shit
South by Southwest is going on in Austin this week and if you’ve ever been to that thing, you know that it started out as a music festival before BIG LANYARD got its paws on it and turned it into an event where brands jizz all over themselves and do NOT keep Austin weird. Since the festival’s incep...
Why Your Tourney Feel-Good Story Sucks: Northwestern
Some people are fans of the Northwestern Wildcats. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Northwestern Wildcats. This 2017 Deadspin tourney preview is for those in the latter group. This will be the only one. Don’t ask me to do the other 67 asshole teams....