rants - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

There Are Only Two Acceptable Wedding Dress CodesYesterday, I was having a nice coffee outside with a friend who was telling me about an upcoming trip. He and his girlfriend were going to a wedding in Austin. I, a famous lover a good wedding, wanted details. There’s a moment when you ask people who wear dresses about weddings that never comes up w...

If You’re Defending Tom Brady’s Cheap Martyr Routine, You’re Fucking PatheticThe scene is good. In case you missed it, have a gander below at the now-infamous scene from the new Paul Rudd show Living With Myself where Tom Brady strolls out of a massage parlor:...

Cardinals Manager Mike Fucking Shildt Gets All Fucking Riled Up After Beating The Fucking BravesAfter the Cardinals tore the Braves a new asshole in Wednesday’s series-clinching 13–1 Game 5 win, Cards manager Mike Shildt ripped them yet another poop valve in his triumphant, fuck-laden postgame talk in front of his team:...

God Man, Fuck You Bret Stephens

In case you were busy actually enjoying your weekend, Jordan Peterson celebrity cruise attendant Bret Stephens went ahead and ruined everyone else’s by scribbling out a bunch of racist bumper sticker slogans in the New York Times. And this time, ol’ Bret did so without the veneer of preciousness tha...

Google's Smart Compose Is Shitty And Definitely Evil

Not satisfied with foisting predictive text and Smart Replies upon an unsuspecting public, Google rolled out a new Smart Compose feature for mobile Gmail two months ago that, like your significant other interrupting you, storms right ahead and puts words in your mouth. Like so:...

The Worst People Win Again

All the terrible people are happy today. Robert Kraft is happy, and presumably has a low arm wrapped around an auto show model, because another ring only further burnishes his title of King Of All Owners. Tom Brady is happy because he gets to frame himself as an underdog who overcame impossible odds...

Please Stop Praising The Idiot Football Men For Dressing Poorly In Cold Weather<em></em>

As you might have heard, it’s cold outside in large portions of the country today. It’s so cold that (PSA: there is no punchline forthcoming) the National Weather Service has warned citizens of Chicago that frostbite can set in after just five minutes of exposure to such extreme temperatures. Has th...

Stop Squeezing The Food At Me

An unavoidable consequence of spending any meaningful amount of time online is being exposed to viral food content. Some of that stuff looks good and appetizing and much of it is trollish and stupid and decadent in ways that suggest a culture in serious trouble. But there is one particular aspect to...