drewmagary Page 32 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
How Cam Newton Became The Dominant Force In Football
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....
What Was The Shittiest Take Of The Year?
It was quite the year for shitty takes, my friends. Remember Bud Poliquin? And the Titans mom? And Jason Whitlock’s entire oeuvre? Oh, what a time we had with all those takes. But there were three shitty takes that sunk below all the others … takes that buried themselves deep into the mantle of the ...
The NFL Should Seize Control Of The Cleveland Browns
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....
The 2015 Hater’s Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog
I have terrible news for you, America. I know that you’ve already endured a harsh autumn of partisan politics and mass tragedies and inconsistent NFL officiating. I know you can’t handle one more goddamn piece of bad news right now. It’s too much. It may break your spirit entirely. But I have to do ...
Let’s Talk About What Constitutes Acceptable Tanking
The Philadelphia 76ers just stripped bizarro wunderkind and general manager Sam Hinkie of virtually all his authority. Hinkie, as you may recall, is the architect of a “Process” by which you suck as hard as possible in order to acquire as many assets as possible, and then you trade those assets away...
A Completely Dumb And Unnecessary Argument About Sex Scenes
Batman v Superman is coming out soon, and the man in charge of this fiasco was also the architect of arguably the worst sex scene in movie history. But what makes a sex scene terrible, apart from the tragic decision to include a Leonard Cohen song? And can a sex scene ever REALLY be bad so long as i...
Chip Kelly’s Downfall Is The NFL’s Downfall
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....
Fuck Off, Kobe
The funniest thing about Kobe Bryant’s retirement “announcement” yesterday is that Kobe Bryant was clearly the last person to know that this would be Kobe Bryant’s final season. Honestly, I thought he had announced it already, given that he’s a broken-down old mummy who can no longer play basketball...
Down With Turkey Haters
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....
Do Not Post Naked Pictures Of Your Toddler On Facebook
Your letters:...
We Have Found The Key To Defeating Aaron Rodgers
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....
Is Ronda Rousey A GLORY GIRL?
Hey, Ronda Rousey got her butt (and head and neck) kicked the other night. How did such a seemingly dominant athlete manage to end up losing so decisively? Was Rousey ill-prepared for Holly Holm’s cagey boxing style? Was she unnerved by Australia’s counter-clockwise toilet swirl? Did she take a dive...
Why Is It So Hard To Run Out The Clock?
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....
Why Are Hot Takers Truthering The Missouri Fiasco?
Missouri is playing a football game this Saturday night—a game that was recently put in jeopardy by the ongoing firestorm at the school. It’s a big ol’ shitshow that promises to get messier before it gets cleaner, with potential strikes, ousted chancellors, professors begging for muscle (coming righ...
Will Kobe Bryant Survive This Season?
The early part of the NBA season has been defined by a torrent of incredible Steph Curry highlights and an alternate, uglier torrent of Kobe Bryant lowlights, wherein the Lakers superstar is hopelessly air-balling shot after shot as his teammates—still regarded by Kobe as mere assistants—look on hel...