drewmagary Page 36 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Tom Brady Lied And Killed Babies With His Lies
It’s the day after the NFL’s bombshell revelation—all revelations must be BOMBSHELL—that Tom Brady destroyed his cell phone before NFL investigators could get their hands on it and use it to expose his plots. But he destroyed more than just his cell phone that day, fair reader … HE DESTROYED OUR NAT...
Why Your Team Sucks 2015: Atlanta Falcons
Some people are fans of the Atlanta Falcons. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Atlanta Falcons. This 2015 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. ...
Should Pro Athletes Take Sabbaticals?
PROGRAMMING NOTE: I am on vacation next week. Your Funbag will be manned by former punter and current man-of-leisure Chris Kluwe, so yell at him over here with your questions....
Why Your Team Sucks 2015: Chicago Bears
Some people are fans of the Chicago Bears. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Chicago Bears. This 2015 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....
Why Your Team Sucks 2015: New York Jets
Some people are fans of the New York Jets. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New York Jets. This 2015 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. ...
Why Your Team Sucks 2015: Washington Redskins
Some people are fans of the Washington Redskins. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Washington Redskins. This 2015 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....
Why Your Team Sucks 2015: Oakland Raiders
Some people are fans of the Oakland Raiders. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Oakland Raiders. This 2015 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....
Why Your Team Sucks 2015: Jacksonville Jaguars
Some people are fans of the Jacksonville Jaguars. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Jacksonville Jaguars. This 2015 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....
Why Your Team Sucks 2015: Tennessee Titans
Some people are fans of the Tennessee Titans. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Tennessee Titans. This 2015 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. ...
Why Your Team Sucks 2015: Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Some people are fans of the Tampa Bay Bucs. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Tampa Bay Bucs. This 2015 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....
I Can’t Stop Watching These Crazy Assholes Play Indoor Bike Soccer
Have you been wandering around your life blissfully unaware of the existence of RADBALL? Well, my man, today is your day of enlightenment, because I’ve got a video that will blow your fucking dick off. ...
Here Are 14 Things You Will Say To Your Kids A Million Goddamn Times
I have three kids. They don’t fucking listen. One day, God as my witness, they will listen. They will stop, turn around, not talk for five seconds, and say to me, “Wow, I never thought of it that way before. Thanks, Dad!” I swear it will happen. I will destroy entire countries if I have to make it s...
Chris Broussard Is ESPN’s Favorite Kind Of Shitty
Between fucking up his report on the DeAndre Jordan saga and beefing with co-workers about the chastity of Russell Wilson, last week was quite a week for ESPN reporter and self-proclaimed “thought leader” Chris Broussard. With ESPN tightening its belt and sending away expensive, outspoken talent lik...
“Never Fight People Bigger Than You”: Your School Fight Horror Stories
I went to Spanish Camp when I was a kid (shut up), and there was this one kid named Dave who was always a dick to me. I spent pretty much every waking moment ruminating on how much I hated Dave, until one day when I couldn’t take it anymore, and I walked up behind Dave and sucker-punched him. Total ...
Children’s Ages, Ranked
I think it’s about time we started previewing some shitty NFL teams, no? That’s right: The WHY YOUR TEAM SUCKS series boots up again this month, which is good, because these teams are suckier than ever. If you wanna send in a rant about why your team sucks (emphasis on YOUR team … don’t send me some...
People Who Hate Air Conditioning Are Commie Assholes
It’s summer again, which means it’s time for a whole new round of dirty hippie assholes smarming up the Internet with their anti-air conditioning takes. Even the Pope got in on it. NOT COOL, COOL POPE. Anyway, these air conditioning shamers are a scourge and they must be destroyed, starting with the...
“Then They Lit A Roman Candle”: Your Best Fireworks Horror Stories
Fireworks! So loud! So destructive! So shabbily made! Why, they’re the perfect embodiment of America itself! No wonder we blow them up real good every 4th of July....