drewmagary Page 38 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Great Jameis Winston Whitewashing
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re covering egg whites, sex, cats that do dishes, and more....
How To Make An Adequate Rye Old Fashioned
I go on runs with cocktails. I'm like a child who gets a new toy, obsesses over the toy for a full week, and then wants nothing to do with it. I went through a whole summer of drinking greyhounds and throwing up those greyhounds into the bushes. I drank a lot of rum & Diet Cokes when I was tryi...
What If Roger Goodell Were President?
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re covering taco enemas, board games, wiping, and more....
April Fool’s Day, As Orchestrated By My 9-Year-Old
1. I wake up and walk downstairs....
Terrible Pizza Joint To Deny Gay Indiana Residents Terrible Pizza
You may have heard recently about Indiana's new "religious freedom" law that allows businesspeople to refuse service toward gay folks. Well, as reported by ABC57 news, the good people at Memories Pizza are taking full advantage of that new law, proudly declaring that gays are not encouraged to eat ...
Jameis Winston Fat?
Jameis Winston has always been a stout quarterback, inviting comparisons to Ben Roethlisberger not just for alleged behavioral resemblances, but for physical resemblances as well. As Michael David Smith has noted, there’s definitely some boobage going on. Is Winston fat? I’d say he’s righhhhhht on t...
Cutting Down Nets Is Stupid
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering Easter, third parties, saunas, pencils, and more....
Deadcast: Is Coach K The Most Hateable CBB Coach Ever? (Yes.)
The Final Four starts on Saturday, which means it's time for us to dust off the microphones and do a little Deadcast, exploring the most hateable college basketball coaches to choose from. And it's such a deep, deep pool of candidates, really. None of them are actually LIKEABLE, especially now tha...
HOLY SHIT THAT ONE GUY FROM ONE DIRECTION QUIT
Holy fuck! Holy Christ goddamn! That one guy from One Direction quit! The weed dealer looking one! That one that did that thing with the hair! YOU KNOW THE ONE. No, not Harry. You fucking asshole. The other one. THE HOT ONE. I know they're ALL hot ones, but Zach (Is that his name? Wait, h...
Adrian Peterson Is A Fucking Moron
You know, just once in this lifetime, I would like my favorite team to acquire a legendary skill position player who does NOT turn out to be a complete fucking shithead. The Vikings drafted Randy Moss, and I had to spend a decade justifying his existence to myself when he would sit down and make a ...
Deadcast: Peter King Talks To Roger Goodell, Accomplishes Nothing
So Peter King landed an interview with Roger Goodell (I know… I'm as shocked by his journalistic coup as you are) and the commissioner took the opportunity to spew out a bunch of boilerplate Roger Goodell nonsense: blanket declarations of self-assurance, private police forces, bullshit concussion st...
The USMNT Should Boycott The 2022 World Cup
Today FIFA announced that they are formally moving ahead with plans to host the 2022 World Cup in Qatar in November and December of that year, with the final being played a week before Christmas. As you may already know, Qatar's World Cup infrastructure is being built using Moses-era slavery practi...
Deadcast: The Hater’s Guide To The Field Of 68
The tournament is here! Obscure schools! Slow play! Poor shooting! Adorable upsets that are violently corrected in the boring later rounds! It's all here! I'm gonna head to the bar at 1 p.m., eyebang the barstools until a free one opens up, and then get TERRIBLE barstool ass sores over the cou...
What Happens When A 38-Year-Old Man Takes An AP History Test?
I never took an AP course in high school. I'm pretty sure it was because I never qualified for it (I went straight B-minuses throughout my high school career), but it was also because I went to school back when taking AP courses wasn't the dire necessity that it is for today's students. According ...
Balls, Ranked
NOTE: Rankings are for the actual balls, not the sports played with them....
Bill Simmons Is A Name-Dropping Waste
So Bill Simmons offered a "sneak" preview today of the third part of his NBA Trade Value column. And yes, his self-mythologizing has gotten to the point where he a) breaks some random-ass rankings into three parts, b) releases a "sneak preview" of the third part of those rankings because "we couldn...
And Now, The World’s Most Terrifyingly Inappropriate <i>Minecraft</i> Videos
Last week, I took a moment to explain why Minecraft, the world's biggest video game, sucks hard balls. And in my "research" for that post (five minutes), I found a number of Minecraft recreations of 9/11 over on YouTube. All of these tributes are misguided at best and tasteless at worst …...
Jim Boeheim Is The NCAA’s Favorite Kind Of Shitbag
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering bowling, moon colonies, giant scorpions, and more....