drewmagary Page 6 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
And Now, Your Worst Roommate Horror Stories
I have very few, if any, roommate horror stories scattered throughout my personal history, which means that I, like the oblivious sucker at a poker table, am likely the nightmare roommate in stories of OTHER people. Take my friend Fred, for example (not his real name). In 1999, Fred crashed at my st...
Stop Excusing Tom Izzo’s Assholery<em></em>
The only thing more predictable than Tom Izzo going apeshit on one of his own players, to the point where MSU freshman forward Aaron Henry’s teammates had to actively restrain the head coach, was the parade of dipshits and assholes rushing to Izzo’s defense and framing any criticism of his sideline ...
Bubble Teams Belong In Hell
Today, we’re talking about chicken pot pie, the NCAA tournament, dirty belts, and more....
The Sports Media Is Doing Nike’s Damage Control For Free
Last night college basketball fans were treated to a comeback that, just a few weeks ago, seemed impossible. I’m talking, of course, about Nike shoes. We were all rooting for that scrappy little outfit out of Beaverton, Oregon, to overcome the odds, AMIRITE? Sure, Duke supernova Zion Williamson retu...
The 2018(ish) Hater’s Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog
[greets you at the door while wearing a frayed holiday sweater; offers you curdled egg nog]...
Should The NFL Support Medicare For All?<em></em>
Today, we’re talking about baths, grocery store timing, quotable movies, Bryce Harper, and more....
Stop Enabling Barstool's Shit
Barstool Sports, a site for boys who wanna grow up to be Donald Trump Jr., is getting shit on this week. This is a justified shitting-on, because comedian Miel Bredouw called out the site for using a video that she made without giving her credit—in fact, we found they sometimes upload pilfered conte...
What Is The Optimum Office Food?<em></em>
Today, we’re talking about basketball, Joe Lunardi sucking, conductors, vengeance, and more....
What Is The Optimum Office Food?<em></em>
Today, we’re talking about basketball, Joe Lunardi sucking, conductors, vengeance, and more....
College Basketball Coaches Are Too Famous<em></em>
Today, we’re talking about Bojangles, Bob Kraft, burnt hot dogs, and more....
The Hater’s Guide To The 2019 Oscars
I remember I used to have a hard time waiting for the Oscars to arrive. I shit you not. I would get super jazzed for them, then roll my eyes at the prospect of having to wait for months between the end of the movie year and the stupid ceremony. I, uh, no longer feel this way. The Oscars come around ...
Let Football Players Wear The Glue Gloves<em></em>
Today, we’re talking about birth plans, diarrhea, weird doctors, and more....
Is Papa John A Sincere Kentucky Fan?
So Bob Costas spoke openly to Mark Fainaru-Wada and ESPN—to his eventual regret, he says—about being gradually phased out at NBC after his bosses chafed at him accurately claiming that the sport of football destroys brains. You can easily read the story and see that Costas was right to speak openly ...
Should High Schools Teach Sports History?<em></em>
Today, we’re talking about poop, backspacing, Bob Ross, soft-boiled eggs, and more....
Look At This Fucking Soft-Ass Pud
Behold Donald Trump Jr., failed son of a failed son....
The Future Of Football Is A Lie<em></em>
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....
Oh God, What If The Patriots Win A SEVENTH Title?!<em></em>
Today, we’re talking about the Super Bowl, stoner girlfriends, the NBA, and more....
The Worst People Win Again
All the terrible people are happy today. Robert Kraft is happy, and presumably has a low arm wrapped around an auto show model, because another ring only further burnishes his title of King Of All Owners. Tom Brady is happy because he gets to frame himself as an underdog who overcame impossible odds...
Please Stop Praising The Idiot Football Men For Dressing Poorly In Cold Weather<em></em>
As you might have heard, it’s cold outside in large portions of the country today. It’s so cold that (PSA: there is no punchline forthcoming) the National Weather Service has warned citizens of Chicago that frostbite can set in after just five minutes of exposure to such extreme temperatures. Has th...
<i>Monday Night Football</i> Needs To Get Over Itself
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....