jackdickey Page 77 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Be Cool Or Elmo Might Have To Stab Somebody
Last night, in Nassau Bay, Texas, a suburb of Houston, Joshua Knight made one very bad decision. He wore this Elmo shirt. The other bad decision, involving his stabbing a man who tried to break up a fight between Knight and a woman, is totally alleged....
Get To Know A Comic You Probably Don't Know: Sean Patton
Who? Sean Patton is a comic originally from New Orleans, arriving as part of group from New Orleans along with Mark Normand and Neal Statsny. Sean works in a free association style. The audience never knows where the punchline is coming and in that way his jokes feel almost like magic tricks....
Get To Know A Comic You Probably Don't Know: Jessica Kirson
Who? Jessica Kirson started in New York. She's big but never uses it to self-pity or incur sympathy. She uses it to destroy. The hardest comics to follow on a show are the ones that change the rhythm of a room. A one-liner comic throws off the pattern for the comedians that follow because the audi...
Get To Know A Comic You Probably Don't Know: David Walton
Who? The entertainment industry makes no sense. It is capricious mix of talent, looks and most importantly, luck. Here is an example. There were two excellent comic actors in my college senior class. Both were charismatic, hard-working and good-looking dudes. They arranged a performance of Mamet's G...
Our Resident Comedian Explains: How Do I Become A Comedy Writer?
Earlier, Drew mentioned the harrowing, unstable process of writing for TV. It is a blast if you get hired. If the show goes to series and you are staffed, you are now making around $200K minimum on a union show. That is more money than my family has made in generations. I would fill up my bathtub an...
Calgary's List Of Most Wanted Fugitives Includes Mr. Dakota Neil Weasel Head
This man is on the loose for failure to comply. This man, according to the Vancouver Sun, is Dakota Neil Weasel Head. He's made Calgary Crime Stoppers' list of the city's top 13 fugitives. (No word on whether Jay Feaster made the list, too)....
Dolphins Linebacker Channing Crowder Retires At 27 To Spend More Time With His Own Crazy Thoughts: A Tribute
Miami released Crowder, its trash-talking linebacker, two weeks ago, and Crowder decided to retire today....
David Ortiz Got His Fucking RBI After All
Remember when David Ortiz barged into Terry Francona's press conference and demanded an RBI that had been stricken from the record books? Well, he's gotten it back, Scoggins be damned:...
Wanted: Boston-Area Roommate For High-Strung Veteran Wide Receiver Who Tweets A Lot
Chad Ochocinco, most recently in love with his quarterback: young, fetching Thomas Brady, needs a roommate in Boston. He wants a big Patriots fan, perhaps a real-life Tommy from Quinzee:...
Shannon Sharpe Looks More Bad-Ass Leaving A Port-A-Potty Than Anyone Else Does
This photo comes from tipster Michael, who says he took it backstage at the Hall of Fame induction ceremony over the weekend. Afterward, Sharpe delivered a great speech....
Shaq's New Girlfriend Is Admirably Comically Sized (UPDATE: This Is How They Kiss)
Maybe she could fit inside one of his long jean short legs?...
Yup, This Is Bill Simmons' Mustache
Simmons debuted the above fuzz while guest hosting Pardon the Interruption today....
We Want To Know Why Your College Sucks
Dear loyal Deadspin readers,...
Your Yankees-Red Sox Open Thread
Trying something a little newish here: Any of you want to talk about Sunday Night Baseball, Yankees-Red Sox? These are the two best teams in the AL, playing a rubber game to determine who'll win the series and lead the East. Freddy Garcia against Josh Beckett. 8:05 p.m., ESPN, Fenway Park, all of th...
Ron Artest Put Away His Cellphone Last Night To Take In A Celine Dion Concert
Lakers forward/funnyman/dong-texter Ron "Metta World Peace" Artest has, with good reason, captured our imagination lately. Sometimes for good, sometimes for bad....
Massachusetts-Area Idiots Fly Jolly Roger Atop Tiny Fishing Vessel, Try And Fail To Rob Sailboat While Owner Sleeps
Piracy is real, y'all. East Africa? Hornet's nest. Caribbean? Same deal. But the North Shore of Boston might be the worst of the bunch. Here are the obnoxious news ledes mocking this terribly serious crime:...
In 1995, An ESPN Cameraman Captured Fenway Fans Having An Over-The-Jorts Three-Way (UPDATE)
Oh, 1997. Back when we thought murdering Vince Foster was the worst our government could do. Back when we could watch both Mad About You and Caroline in the City. Back when the Red Sox were so mediocre and uninteresting that over-the-jorts horndoggery could occur in a half-empty Fenway Park. These ...
This Lady Left Two Used Tampons Under Her Seat At Wrigley Field
Perhaps one is free to leave trash under one's seat at movie theaters or stadiums: popcorn, Pepsi, (Neifi) Perez memorabilia—but we ought to draw the line well short of endometrial cells....
Stay The Hell Away From Rehabbing Stephen Strasburg, You Mongrels, Minor League Team Tells Press
You may think it's Strasmas in August for the scribes of Hagerstown, Maryland, but you'd be wrong. Dead wrong....
Watch Nani's Pretty Half-Pitch Injury Time Goal To Clinch Manchester United's Comeback
This goal, from Nani, in stoppage time, is a triumph of all kinds of speed. Wayne Rooney ain't that fast....