jackdickey Page 78 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Manscaping And A Mankini Helped MMA Reach Its Aesthetic Nadir At UFC 133
No one watches UFC—what with its bloody noses, sweaty chests, cauliflower ears—for beauty's sake. No one would confuse Dana White with Donna Karan. But holy lord, things got ugly in one of the undercard fights last night....

Someone Wore A Big, Furry Chewbacca Mask To The Rangers-Indians Game Last Night, When It Was 106º Out
Yes, it was really quite sweltering. Inherit the Wind-courtroom sweltering....

Shannon Sharpe's HOF Induction Speech Was Not Exciting Enough To Keep John Elway From Texting
Your morning roundup for August 7, the day London was burning, and we lived by the river. Screencap via eagle-eyed reader Rob, who says he "fucking hates John Elway." See anything that might interest us? Email the tips line....

There's No Cryin' In Mutton-Bustin'
North Texas's world-renowned mutton-bustin' exhibition, the Mesquite Championship Rodeo, will soon be upon us. Which means Good Day Dallas, with whom we've had some fun before, had to visit the rodeo. And when they visit, everything goes wrong. Because, you see, these are four-year-olds riding waywa...

Jay Cutler And Kristin Cavallari Are Returning The Wedding Gifts You Sent Them, With Dainty Notes In Some Cases
Previously, we brought you the story of some Deadspin readers who bought gifts for Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari off their wedding registry. Then we told you that the Bears QB dumped Cavallari. Here comes the fallout, courtesy of Crate & Barrel....

What Jock Culture Does To Pukes Like You
The following piece originally ran in The Nation's sports issue, on newsstands now....

<em>Welcome Back, JaMarcus</em>: Russell Will Return To LSU In The Fall To Take Some Classes
LSU Sports Information Director Michael Bonnette tweeted yesterday that former Oakland Raiders quarterback JaMarcus Russell would be returning to Baton Rouge to take classes in the fall. In his honor, we've cut you the opening credits of Welcome Back, JaMarcus....

If Albert DeSalvo Wasn't The Boston Strangler, Who Was? Bill James Investigates
During the years 1962-64, 13 women in the Boston area were molested and then strangled by an assailant who came to be known as the Boston Strangler. In 1965, Albert DeSalvo, a convicted sex offender and patient at a local mental institute, began telling people he committed the murders. With the help...

Bug Selig Wants To Chat With A-Rod About His Violent, Cocaine-y Poker Game
Yankee third baseman/centaur Alex Rodriguez has been on the DL since mid-July after knee surgery. His recovery's coming along nicely, but there's new trouble looming: MLB brass wants to ask him about the strange poker game he played in. He might get suspended, ESPN New York reports....

Braylon Edwards May Have Started The Nightclub Brawl He Allegedly Wasn't Involved In
We told you yesterday about free agent wide receiver Braylon Edwards' most recent legal trouble—according to My Fox Detroit, Edwards was on the periphery of a brawl that broke out at a nightclub in Birmingham, Michigan....

Braylon Edwards Has The Kind Of Résumé No Free Agent Wide Receiver Would Want
Former Jets and Browns wide receiver Braylon Edwards is a free agent. Edwards is 6' 3", spry, a leaper. He has 39 touchdowns in six seasons, which ties him for 23rd among active players. And he's one of the youngest in that bunch....

Colin Cowherd Predicts NFL Teams Will Go 268-244 This Year
Cowherd has the entire league 24 games over .500. Such optimism! It's what makes him the best. [ESPN Radio, via Dan Steinberg]...

Thankfully, Nyjer Morgan Has Continued Giving Postgame Interviews In Character
Yes, the Brewers have won seven in a row and opened up moderate leads on not-good-enough St. Louis and really-not-good-enough Pittsburgh, but that success isn't the most exciting thing in Milwaukee baseball. Nor is Prince Fielder's contract year or John Axford's mustache or the Yuniesky Betancourt...

Joey Harrington Hit While On A Bicycle In Portland
Former Lions and Dolphins quarterback Joey Harrington has now reached the nadir of his Portland days. He was hit from behind while biking....

Ron Artest Is Still A Little Confused About Why Deadspin Was Calling His Phone
Here's what he told the LA Times: ""You know what man, it was kind of crazy," Artest said. "People are trying to pull not even pranks, but try to stir something up that doesn't make any sense. It really doesn't make any sense. People call you and then pull pranks. I never shied away from the media. ...

Terrible Defensive Shortstop Miguel Tejada Is Angry At San Francisco Media For Writing About His Terrible Defense
So the Giants acquired Proven October Shortstop™ Orlando Cabrera from Cleveland yesterday, because their GM, Brian Sabean, is a veteran-loving fool who doesn't have eyes, apparently....

Samaki Walker Got Pulled Over With Weed And Steroids, So He Tried To Eat The Weed
The Mavs took Samaki Walker ninth overall in 1996, between Kerry Kittles and Erick Dampier, four picks before Kobe Bryant, and six before Steve Nash. Walker hasn't seen any NBA game action since December 2005, so you don't need Jay Bilas to point out that he's a bust. He's played in Russia, Syria, C...

Here's The Trailer For <em>Borderline Beast</em>, Upcoming Movie About Brandon Marshall's Personality Disorder
Brandon Marshall: Borderline Beast is probably not coming to a theatre near you, unless you happen to be staying in Pat Bowlen's house while he loops the film to vindicate himself....

Hey Kids, If You Suckerpunch A Fan On A College Football Field, You Could One Day Become A Mild-Mannered Surgeon
Tipster Mike sends us a nice little "Where Are They Now" update on Kellen Huston, the former Nebraska corner who threw the above roundhouse at a Mizzou player in 2003....

This Is Why You Should Bring A Glove If You're Gonna Sit Near The Right-Field Foul Pole At Yankee Stadium
It is, like, the least surprising thing in the world that this Yankee fan, who got hit in the face with a foul ball, is holding a BlackBerry. His collar is popped under his Yankees t-shirt. Ugh....