jackdickey Page 99 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Harvard And Princeton Will Fight Old-Fashioned Douchebag Standoff In Saturday Playoff
Big news for our high net worth contingent: Princeton defeated Penn in the Ivy League's regular-season finale tonight, meaning—you guessed it—the Tigers will battle Tommy Amaker's Harvard squad for the conference's automatic berth in a playoff at Yale on Saturday....

Max Pacioretty Carted Off Ice On Stretcher After Scary Zdeno Chara Hit
In the second period of tonight's Bruins-Habs game, with Montreal leading 4-0, Boston defenseman Zdeno Chara delivered this blow to Montreal wing Max Pacioretty, riding him headfirst into the stanchion between the benches....

These Are The Emails Jim Tressel Sent While Being Really Serious
So, remember that thing we just told you about Jim Tressel's incredible concern when confronted with news of possible Buckeye crimes and/or NCAA violations?...

Texans CB Kareem Jackson Tweets A Dominican Cockfight
Well, this is one way to spend one's last NFL paychecks before the impending labor doom arrives....

Ohio State Suspends And Fines Tressel For Hiding NCAA Violations From School
Jim Tressel, vest-clad leader of young men, was suspended for two games and fined $250,000 today, after Yahoo! Sports reported Monday that the coach had known about NCAA violations for eight months before the university found out....

Mets Ask For $50 Million More In Loans, Tell Mom They're Doing Fine, Just Need Some Money To Join A Gym
On Friday, we learned that the Mets had received $25 million in funding from Bud Selig's secret piggybank, on top of $75 million they'd already borrowed from Major League Baseball. Surely this meant the Wilpon family would finally have to explore selling the team. Or at the very least turn themselve...

Rex Ryan's Combine Diet: Hooters, Steak 'N Shake, and Almost One 225-lb. Bench Press
Wheaties has advertised itself as the "Breakfast of Champions" for over 80 years. Surely someone must be interested in "Dinner of Guaranteed Champions." Because that slogan could apply to Steak 'n Shake, Hooters, or probably anywhere in Indianapolis....

Wrigley Field Is Looking For A New PA Announcer, Inquire Within
Have you ever wanted to announce the lineup of a historically mediocre baseball team? Stepping up to the plate, your catcher, number 55, KOYIE HILL!...

Mets Owners Max Out MLB's Credit Line, Start Putting Stuff On Their Mom's Neiman Marcus Card
It's official, everybody: the Mets are broke. Wait, you knew that already. But now they're officially really, really broke. They're so broke, they just put all their CDs and VHS tapes up for auction. Where else will you find Jungle 2 Jungle and its soundtrack in one place, both lightly used? Well, B...

John Salley Story Corner: Attack Of The Bisexual Groupies
Every week, John Salley, onetime Bad Boy and currently the arachnoid half of the Spider and the Henchman podcast, will regale us with an amusing and occasionally salacious story from his playing days. Today: our hero meets a couple of girls who are down for far too much....

Oakland Man Just Wants Customized Raiders Leg Back
Oakland man Darryl Turner has had plenty of challenges in his life, losing his leg and paralyzing his arm in a motorcycle accident 25 years ago. He then spent the ensuing 25 years as a Raiders fan. And now someone's made off with his silver-and-black prosthesis....

Harvard Students' Sports Analysis Club Will Inherit The Sports, Winklevosses Probably Pissed
Deadspin contributor Ben Cohen writes about Deadspin contributors the Harvard Sports Analysis Collective in a story that is not to be missed by Deadspin readers. Among other things: these dorks are getting lots of jobs. Bully for you, dorks. [ThePostGame]...

Matt Stairs Is The Once-Overweight Canadian Jim Thorpe
Most teams begin spring training games this weekend (or earlier—Manatee Community College (-200) vs. Pirates at 12:05 today). Until then, though, beat writers have to fill inches with features about new players with quirky stories....

Italian Fans Will Miss Gallinari, Russians счастливый To See Mozgov Go, According To Ethnic Sources
Today's Times offers a second-day story on the Melo trade. You will best appreciate the piece if you read it in silly accents and embrace two of the ethnic stereotypes not often associated with the NBA!...

Jazz Trade Deron Williams: What The Hell Is Going On In Utah?
Al Iannazzone of the Bergen Record reports that the Utah Jazz have agreed to send two-time All-Star point guard Deron Williams to the New Jersey Nets in exchange for Devin Harris, Derrick Favors and two first-round draft picks. Wow....

The Drunken Family Argument Phase Of "Black Thanksgiving"
We learned last week, the NBA All-Star Weekend is "Black Thanksgiving." Of course, like any holiday with family present, things can turn ugly between the meal and dessert....

The Weekend In Minor League Hockey Stripteases
Here's Colorado Eagles assistant coach Greg Pankiewicz doing his thing on Friday night. Oh, classic "Hanky" Panks!...

This Is The Fourth Annual "Hockey Weekend Across America," Assuming It Actually Exists
While the NBA is off celebrating its All-Star Weekend, which CNN calls "Black Thanksgiving," the NHL and USA Hockey are collaborating on their own star-studded weekend tribute to their game. And by stars, they mean Eddie Cahill, Ken Baker, and Ashlan Gorse. And by tribute, they mean, uh, something? ...

We Are All Dave McKenna XV
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit goes poof, vamoose, son of a bitch. Today: Snyder might be a little SLAPP-happy....

Kornheiser Takes To Talk Radio To Blast Web's Lack Of Craft And Nuance
Tony Kornheiser, some guy who hosts a TV show and a radio show (on Dan Snyder's WTEM!), thinks that blogging and tweeting "so, so diminish the craft and nuance of writing." Well, that's rich....