katiebakes Page 3 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Baseball's New Lady Knuckleballer is Just Another 18-Year Old Girl Partying in Mexico
Two sentences from this article on US minor-league baseball's newest acquisition, Eri Yoshida: "She taught herself how to throw a knuckleball from watching a video of Tim Wakefield" and "The Outlaws open their season at Tijuana on May 21." [MLB.com]...

How Will Joe Biden Manage to Offend Soccer Fans Everywhere?
Joe Biden will participate in the "first kick ceremonies" tonight to welcome Major League Soccer's newest team to America's angriest city. How will he bungle this particular public appearance? Here, a few ideas....

Lou Piniella Bawls Out With His Balls Out
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Whining Time: Reggie Miller, The Knicks, And The Prayer Of The Bitchy Girl
A review of ESPN's Winning Time: Reggie Miller vs. the New York Knicks, from a woman who once took a photo with John Starks and keeps it at her desk, and now co-workers think they're married....

Tonight's Most Important Basketball Game Was Valedictorian In High School
Two college basketball teams will battle for conference supremacy tonight in a game that involves a nationally-renowned point guard, allegations of casual racism, a murky college recruiting scandal, and a biting journalist Twitter feud. That's right: Harvard is playing Cornell....

Dear God, Make Me A Bi-Plane, So I Can Fly Farve, Far Far Away From Here
These "Airplanes (Bi-Plane) Handcrafted of Bud Light Limited Edition Viking Cans" will fly you to just within miles of your destination before getting intercepted in mid-air. Cash Only! [Craigslist, via]...

The Holy Child Will Have To Wait A Little Longer To Begin Speaking Only In Cliches
Brilliant beacon of blinding light Bryce Harper picked up his first collegiate hit in only his second at-bat. Too bad no-one is allowed to discuss it! I haven't seen lips this tight since, like, an hour ago. [The Nationals Enquirer]...

Telestrator Dong: Extreme Edition
Apparently you hooligans are known to be receptive to large vaguely-phallic figures rendered in bright yellow? Perhaps someone can mansplain this to me someday. Gird your loins, after the jump....

It's Great To Have You With Us: Your College Hoops Open Thread
Mike Patrick's so excited, and he just can't hide it. Join him and yourselves for some basketball! Duke-Georgetown's at 1; six freshmen, including young sensation John Wall, will play in Vanderbilt-Kentucky at 4; Kansas battles Kansas State at 7. [ESPN]...

We Will All Work For Mario Lemieux One Day
Steel City patron saint Mario Lemieux and shady creepster Ron Burkle, co-owners of the Pittsburgh Penguins, approached the Pittsburgh Pirates with an "unsolicited offer" to buy the MLB team, according to the Post-Gazette. Yinzers, cross your fingers....

Donovan McNabb Is So Totally Going To Dunk London Fletcher. Cannonball!
Update on the NBA-NFL rivalry: Kobe Bryant sells sneakers via gun violence whereas Donovan McNabb, cocktail umbrella behind ear, threatens Pro Bowl n00b London Fletcher (née Susan Lucci) with some badass hazing: "He'll get initiated at the pool bar." [USAToday]...

How Gross Do You Think It Gets Inside Those Green Suits?
"I still don't know what it symbolizes, but I like it!" says the delightfully dopey announcer about these two fine fellows who have taken up residence next to the penalty box at Canucks games. I feel the same way about this website....

What Do You Want to Bet He Climbed Down the Ladder First?
Just going to let the text speak for itself on this one. "Perched on the rafters of the Georgia Dome, ready to drop parachuting stuffed cows, Maggie Smyth's heart was racing." How to meet a wife, after the jump....

Urban Meyer Resigns as Florida Coach, Presumably For More Than One Half
Reports are coming in that the University of Florida has announced that head football coach Urban Meyer is stepping down after the Sugar Bowl. Per the press release:...

John McCain is Pursuing His Hobbies in His Old Age
Apparently John McCain is a really big boxing fan to the point where HBO wanted him to "mediate the drug testing dispute" between Manny Pacquiao and Floyd Mayweather Jr. Can I start hoping for Sarah Palin as ring girl? [ESPN]...

Pete Carroll is a Foxy Fox: Your Emerald Bowl of Nuts Open Thread
I just spent like 30 minutes browsing wire images of Pete Carroll. Love that guy. Anyway, USC takes on Boston College in the Emerald Bowl. It's like Jessica Simpson dating Billy Corgan. I'll let you decide which is which!...

Pat Riley Preferred to Parcel Out Looks of Disdain
Miami Heat coach Erik Spoelstra dubbed himself "Santa Spo" and "presented players with a vocabulary calendar and the book The Energy Bus: 10 Rules to Fuel Your Life, Work and Team with Positive Energy." Merry ... Christmas? [Miami Herald]...

I Was There: Even The Losers Get Lucky Sometimes
There are plenty of decade retrospectives happening everywhere right now, but we'd also like you to participate. Tell us about the best game you've seen in person this decade with the tag #iwasthere. Mine: Patriots at Giants, Week 17!...

Tiger Woods and Mike Wise Cheated on People. Have You?
"I am Tiger Woods," writes Mike Wise in a bracing column in today's Washington Post, "and I have poked fun at his travails because I use humor as camouflage." Not anymore....