kylenw Page 2 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
I'm Just Saying, Skip Bayless Would Be A Happier Dude If He Ate Some Popeye's
For the last two years, the only times I’ve thought very much about Skip Bayless have been whenever I remember that his diet is a cross between that of a dorm room gamer-hermit and that of a long-term fallout shelter resident, the specifics of which we found out in a Washington Post profile from 201...
The NFL's New Extra Point Rule Is Great
For all the worried exegesis of the NFL’s corn-fed rulebook this offseason, not much of it was aimed at football’s best rule change in years: the new extra point. ...
Low Man Wins
Work on that pad level, Tommy Brasher. ...
Goddammit, Fireman Ed Is Back
Because everything involving the Jets should be measured in its relation to the buttfumble, today marks the first time since halftime of the Thanksgiving night game that Fireman Ed crammed his head-butt into a modern structural helmet to lead Jets fans in remedial reading drills. Fuck him. ...
Two Utah Football Players Suffer Gunshot Wounds At Party
Two Utah football players are in stable condition following gunshot wounds suffered late Saturday night. The players are named as sophomore TE Lo Falemaka and freshman RB Marcel Brooks-Brown. ...
Moses Malone Is Dead At 60
Moses Malone died in his sleep early this morning in Norfolk, VA. He was 60. ...
A Layman's Guide To The New iPhones, And Apple's Other New Crap
Earlier today, Apple Inc., a failing novelty-watch interest based in California, announced a new range of products. You can claw through technical explanations of the tick-tock of every little thing, but this is a guide for everything normal people actually need to know....
What Did The Patriots' Alleged Spygate Guru Actually <i>Do</i>?
In ESPN’s motherlode about the Patriots’ hilarious history of cheating over the last decade and a half, you’ll notice a mysterious character at the heart of the videotaping operation: “football research director” Ernie Adams. To close observers of the Patriots organization, Adams has been a matter o...
Here Are 7 Faces Andy Murray Made Last Night
The loudest burst from the stands in Flushing Meadows last night came just before the third-set tiebreaker, when a stadium full mostly of Americans shouted An-Dee Murr-Eee clap clap clap-clap-clap for the Brit just minutes after he laid a vulgar, impassioned speech to the chair umpire about how upse...
Here's An Impossibly Stupid Scene That Was Cut From The Concussion Movie
The Hollywood Reporter went to the crates and found a version of the Concussion script from back in May, before cuts were made to scenes either too much in conflict with a massive business entity like the NFL or too inaccurate, libelous, and badly written to appear in a major motion picture release....
The NFL Didn't Have To Screw Will Smith's Concussion Movie, Hollywood Already Had
First there was Monday’s release of the first trailer for Concussion, the forthcoming Will Smith vehicle depicting the early days of the NFL’s ongoing defense of its game from the reality that it is very bad for the brains of the men who play it. Then there was an interview between writer/director P...
Report: Kyrie Might Not Play Until January
Kyrie Irving had surgery to repair his fractured kneecap in early June, making the original three- or four-month recovery time fall right around now. The Cleveland Plain Dealer, however, is reporting that, according to multiple sources, it looks like Kyrie won’t suit up for the opener, and according...
Russell Wilson Is A Synthetic Lifeform
Today at Rolling Stone you’ll find Stephen Rodrick’s profile of Russell Wilson, a lifelike colony of Surface™ Pro 3 banner ads employed by the Seattle Seahawks. In it, Rodrick recites a series of scenes from off-season product testing leading up to this September’s release date. The illusion seems t...
The NFL's Dumbass Deflategate Science Report Is A Feature, Not A Bug
Last night, a mountain of documents and transcription emerged from Tom Brady’s late June appeal hearing before Roger Goodell. It’s been a circus, with a series of insults, emails, and sneaker requests to Tom Ford pouring out of the file cabinet, but the testimony most relevant to the case circles ba...
The First Photos Of Jason Pierre-Paul's Bandaged, Blown-Up Hand
The Giants have no idea how many fingers Jason Pierre-Paul has left, and JPP hasn’t called to tell them. Reports earlier this month were that he’d lost his index finger, but that’s still unconfirmed. New photos from the NY Daily News don’t have hard evidence one way or another, but they make his han...
Gilbert Arenas's LeBron Scouting Report Is Insane, But Also Perfect
Gilbert Arenas measured up as a rival to LeBron about as well as Ricky Davis did as a sidekick. This is unfair to a player as good as Gil who, had he not self-medicated a torn-up knee with packing tape and a staple gun, would probably be out here killing, since he was a shorter, stronger Jamal Crawf...
Here Are 20 Sentences From Roger Goodell's Tom Brady Decision
The NFL has issued a stirring 20-page decision on the issue of New England quarterback Tom Brady’s four-game suspension. In it, Roger Goodell makes the case for upholding his own decision by citing evidence gathered by the NFL’s investigatory arm and a nominally independent law firm. It reads about ...
Dumbest Team On Earth Told LaMarcus Aldridge To Shove It
LaMarcus Aldridge, the premier NBA free agent this year, went on the Russillo Show to talk about his free agency and particularly his dealings with the New York Knicks, who suck....
Does Jimmer Fredette Have A Chance In Hell In San Antonio?
Every so often, as the last dregs of NBA free agency congeal into place, a name floats across the ticker that gives a little shock of Oh, what ever happened to ... ? pause. Last night, it was Jimmer Fredette signing on, with minimal guarantees, to be a San Antonio Spur. And, begging your pardon, con...