lauren-theisen Page 38 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
This Is How It Feels To Get Whacked By A Tiger Woods Golf Ball
Tiger Woods’ hopes of winning British Open championship came to end at the same time as one fan’s hopes of leaving Carnoustie without any bruises. With Tiger in sole position of the lead on the 11th hole, his second shot took a wrong turn somewhere in the sky and smacked a gallery member to the gr...
What Should We Call The Lakers' Answer To The Warriors' Death Lineup?
The Lakers are going to be much, much better and more fun than they were last season, but they’re not going to beat the Warriors. This hasn’t stopped team representatives from getting a little chesty, first by suggesting that their new-look roster of weirdos surrounding LeBron is actually an uncanny...
Liz Cambage Isn't Cooling Down Anytime Soon
Liz Cambage did not have any trouble coming up with an encore. In her first game after her record-setting 53-point performance on Tuesday, Cambage dominated again for the Dallas Wings on Thursday. In a 90-81 win against the Washington Mystics, Cambage put up 35 points on 31 shot equivalents, pairing...
NFL Stands Down, Suspends National Anthem Policy While It Negotiates With NFLPA
In the aftermath of today’s AP report that the Miami Dolphins (and possibly other teams) would classify players’ protests during the pregame national anthem as punishable offenses, the NFL and NFL Players Association have released a joint statement saying that all rules related to its anthem policy...
LAFC's Adama Diomande Says Portland Timbers Player Called Him The N-Word During Game
LAFC striker Adama Diomande wrote in an Instagram post that an opponent on the Portland Timbers called him “the ‘N’ word” during his team’s U.S. Open Cup match on Wednesday. Diomande came on in the second half as a substitute in his team’s 3-2 win, and while he exchanged a few words with Timbers pla...
The Indians Paid A Lot For Their New Bullpen, But They Pretty Much Had To Do It
The Cleveland Indians, despite owning only the sixth-best record in the American League, have basically already clinched their spot in the playoffs, and are the only AL team that doesn’t have to worry about the wild card play-in game. Thanks to the putrid AL Central and its one (1) team with a recor...
Here's Michigan State's Settlement Agreement With Larry Nassar's Victims
Documents filed last week in a U.S. district court show the full details of the settlement between Michigan State and the sexual abuse victims of its former employee, Larry Nassar. As previously reported, Michigan State will pay a total of $425 million to the 333 survivors who have already come forw...
Liverpool Spend Truckload Of Money To Prevent Further Loris Karius Boners
Liverpool are rolling in Champions League cash after that surprisingly successful 2017-18 campaign, and they’ve proven yet again that they’re not shy about spending it. Today the Reds appear to have completed a deal with Roma for the Brazilian goalkeeper Alisson, paying the hysterical price of €75m ...
Tiffany Hayes Steals, Then Scores An Extremely Badass Buzzer-Beater
The Connecticut Sun probably thought they would be the only ones with a buzzer beating opportunity as the clock wound down in their 83-83 game with the Atlanta Dream tonight. But they didn’t factor in the otherworldly range of Dream guard Tiffany Hayes. ...
Report: Cardinals TE Ricky Seals-Jones Arrested After Hotel Refuses To Let Him Go To The Bathroom
Arizona Cardinals tight end Ricky Seals-Jones was reportedly arrested by Scottsdale Police over the weekend and charged with assault, disorderly conduct, and criminal trespassing. From the information available, the arrest happened for a very dumb reason: He really had to go to the bathroom....
Arsène Wenger: Oh God, What Was I Doing At Arsenal For The Last 22 Years?
Pretty much the entire back half of manager Arsène Wenger’s 22-year tenure with Arsenal could be forgotten with little consequence. After winning a couple titles and then going unbeaten in the 2003-04 Premier League season, Wenger’s accomplishments quickly thinned—a mix of third- and fourth-place fi...
Kirk Cousins Anticipates His Inevitable Death With A Tube Of Rocks
For most of us living our lives on this planet we call Earth, the fact that we will one day be dead and gone is an abstract concept, something we intellectually know but can’t fully visualize or comprehend. Vikings QB Kirk Cousins has solved this problem with a collection of rocks. ...
Lawsuit Says USA Diving Ignored Sexual Abuse Of Divers
A lawsuit filed last week adds USA Diving to the list of U.S. Olympic Committee-certified national governing bodies that have allegedly enabled the abuse of young female athletes. The lawsuit, filed in an Indiana federal court, describes one coach in particular who has habitually raped his divers, a...
Announcing Cliches In Soccer, Ranked
The World Cup didn’t quite feel the same without Ian Darke to call it, but at least there was another month of (mostly) British announcers populating our soccer broadcasts. Here’s a celebration of the phrases only heard when watching the beautiful game....
Pirates Plunder Walk-Off Win On Basically The Open Sea
Playing extra innings on Sunday in a ballpark that had essentially become an extension of the Allegheny River, the Pirates managed to capture a walk-off victory. First baseman Josh Bell was the one who showed off his sea legs and sent Milwaukee to Davy Jones’s locker, crushing the ball about 60 fat...
Weird-As-Hell <i>USA Today</i> Blog Reads Like Ad Copy For The Qatar World Cup
We’re all in agreement that holding the 2022 World Cup in Qatar is a bad idea, right? Like, historically bad, since both the oppressive heat and the lack of infrastructure make the tournament such a logistical nightmare that it has to be played in December, with an entire city created from scratch t...
Jaguars DT Marcell Dareus Has Been Accused Of Sexual Assault In Two Separate Lawsuits
Jacksonville Jaguars defensive lineman Marcell Dareus is currently facing two separate lawsuits that accuse him of sexual assault. Both anonymous plaintiffs—one woman from Las Vegas and another in Texas—say that Dareus had sex with them while they were blacked out or otherwise incapacitated. The Te...
Isaiah Thomas Has Reached The "Sign For The Veteran's Minimum" Stage Of His Decline
Point guard Isaiah Thomas—formerly of the Lakers, Cavaliers, and Celtics all within the past 12 months—has found a new home in Denver. Adrian Wojnarowski is reporting that Thomas has signed with the Nuggets for the veteran’s minimum....
Mookie Betts's 13-Pitch Grand Slam At-Bat Is Best Viewed In Its Entirety
The best short film of the summer has arrived, and it’s Red Sox outfielder Mookie Betts patiently working through a 13-pitch at-bat against Blue Jays pitcher J.A. Happ before socking a grand slam dinger over that big Green Monster in left field. It’s got pathos—Justin Smoak dropping a foul pop-up ju...