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![Report: MLS Escalates Dumb Fan Feud, Suspends Portland Timbers Supporters For Waving Iron Front Banners [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/mylmmnqxumkwspgs1ooi.jpg)
Report: MLS Escalates Dumb Fan Feud, Suspends Portland Timbers Supporters For Waving Iron Front Banners [UPDATE]
MLS has been in a season-long game of chicken with its own fans, and that feud has now entangled one of the more high-profile fanbases in the league. As first reported by ESPN and then confirmed by Portland Timbers supporters group Timbers Army, a “handful” of Portland fans have been banned for thre...

Juventus Midfielder Emre Can Says The Club Made False Promises, And Now He's Pissed
When dealing with any kind of upper management at a job, the smartest thing you can do is to get it, whatever “it” is, in writing. That’s the hard lesson that Juventus midfielder Emre Can learned this week: The Germany international claimed that he was promised a spot in his club’s Champions League ...

Old And Broken-Down Roger Federer Still Refused To Retire From A Match For The First Time
Roger Federer has done it all on the tennis court, except one thing: retire from a match due to injury. If he were ever going to do that, however, Tuesday night in Queens was the time and the place. After the fourth set of his U.S. Open quarterfinal match against 78th-ranked Grigor Dimitrov, Federer...

Fraudulent Clowns PSG Had A Shockingly Unfraudulent Summer
After a summer full of rumors and whispers, the winner of the Neymar sweepstakes is his current and future club. Paris Saint-Germain, the plucky, oil state-backed underdog, fended off the overtures from both Barcelona and Real Madrid until the death, only celebrating Neymar’s continued residence in ...

Deadspin Up All Night: You Act Like A Kid Even Though You Stand 6-Foot-2
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Have a wonderful long weekend....

Which Is Less Impossible: Scoring In An NBA Game, Getting A Hit In An MLB Game, Or Getting A First Down In An NFL Game?
As often happens when you work with highly opinionated idiots, the Deadspin staff got into a lengthy argument yesterday over, what else, a Twitter question:...

Here Is The 2019-20 Champions League Group Stage Draw
And we’re back! After a summer of international tournaments and preliminary rounds, the Champions League group stage is up next, following the completion of the draw earlier today in Monaco. As is tradition, now we can shift to figuring out who got boned by the draw, and who will have a cakewalk to ...

VAR Took A Dump All Over This Vancouver Whitecaps Penalty Kick
VAR keeps hitting never-before-seen low points in ways that were hard to imagine when it was first implemented. The Vancouver Whitecaps experienced a new version of outrage during their match against the Montreal Impact on Wednesday night, when replays ruled out one of their goals, due to both the ...

Bolton Wanderers' Sale Goes Through, Saving The Club From Ruin
On the same day that Bury were officially expelled from the English Football League, Bolton Wanderers have narrowly avoided a similar fate. The club announced on Wednesday that it had been sold to Football Ventures (White) Limited, and thus will avoid expulsion:...

Bury Have Been Kicked Out Of The English Football League After 125 Years
The deadline came and went, and now one of England’s oldest soccer clubs has been kicked out of the English Football League. Bury had been on the ropes financially for the majority of this year, and with neither a sale nor a proof of financial stability coming through before Tuesday’s 5 p.m. deadli...

The AHL Playoff MVP Made Some Buffalo Wings Inside The Damn Calder Cup
One of the best traditions in hockey is the customary “players’ day with the Cup” that happens after a team wins a championship. And while the St. Louis Blues are gallivanting around with the Stanley Cup doing god knows that, we can say with some certainty that the Calder Cup, which is given to the ...

Brazilian Referee Becomes Second Ref This Month To Stop Match Due To Homophobic Chants
While FIFA’s recent disciplinary code changes meant to address racist abuse from supporters in the stands, the updated rules have already been called to action this month to combat homophobia, first in France and now in Brazil....

Sunday's <i>El Tráfico</i> Between LAFC And The LA Galaxy Was MLS At Its Very Best
Four goals in the first 16 minutes. A Zlatan brace. Carlos Vela yelling at his manager. The fifth edition of El Tráfico, the Los Angeles Derby between LAFC and the Galaxy that capped off MLS’s Rivalry Week on Sunday night, wasn’t just the best game of the season—it was an example of what MLS can be ...

Never Forget That Fernando Torres Was A Force Of Nature Before He Was A Meme
It has been a while since Fernando Torres was something other than a melancholic presence on the soccer field. The man nicknamed El Niño—who played for Atlético Madrid, Liverpool, Chelsea, AC Milan, and Atlético again before retiring on Thursday at Japanese club Sagan Tosu—saw the arc of his career ...

Barcelona, Real Madrid, And PSG Are In A Three-Way Standoff Over Neymar's Future
The first Clásico of the season isn’t until the end of October, but Real Madrid and Barcelona are currently in the throes of a battle with much higher stakes than any one match. After a summer’s worth of rumors and reports linking Paris Saint-Germain’s star forward Neymar to a return to Barcelona, R...

MLB To Horny Players: Please Use The Good Dick Pills, Not The Bad Ones
Baseball players are too damn horny. So says MLB, which had to send out a memo to its players on Monday telling them to stop using over-the-counter “sexual-enhancement pills.” The risk, beyond engorged wooden bats, is that these pills have substances in them that might get flagged on a drug test....

Baseball Maniac Hunter Strickland Broke His Nose With A Barbell To The Face
Last time we checked in on Nationals pitcher Hunter Strickland, he was sending himself to the injured list for two months after punching a wall. While not as self-evidently stupid, his most recent injury is just as bizarre: in the run-up to Tuesday’s game against the Pirates, Strickland got hit in t...

By Banning Protest Signs, MLS Is Trying To Lobotomize The Fandom It Asked For
MLS and its clubs are currently embroiled in a fight against their own supporters over what the league claims are violations of its anti-politics rules. Over the last two weeks, multiple fans in multiple stadiums have been ejected for banners that run afoul of the league’s Fan Code of Conduct. There...

Report: Inter Miami's Proposed Stadium Site Is An Arsenic-Filled Poison Pit
The long wait to watch David Beckham’s Miami MLS franchise play in all the promised glitziness has hit yet another unfortunate snag: the ground where Inter Miami’s ritzy new stadium is to be built is literally poisoned....

Banger King Rúben Neves Scores The First Great Goal Of The Premier League Season
One of the best ongoing statistical oddities in English soccer is that Wolverhampton Wanderers youngster Rúben Neves has never scored for the club from inside the penalty box in open play. Heading into Monday’s game against Manchester United, the 22-year-old Portuguese midfielder had 12 goals for Wo...