miserableshitehawk Page 49 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jose Ramirez Utterly Baffled By Utility Man Brandon Dixon's 10th Straight Curveball
This is wonderful. Reds utility man Brandon Dixon made his first career pitching appearance Monday night, in the ninth inning of an eventual 10-3 loss to the Indians. His pitching line was great: Dixon threw 10 total pitches; no one of them was harder than 74 miles per hour; the slowest came in unde...
Break Up The Mets!
The Mets beat the Yankees Monday night, 8–5, for their second consecutive win, and fourth in five games, and sixth in nine. They’re coming off their first consecutive series wins since April, and recently got long-suffering Jacob deGrom his first win since mid-June. Things are finally looking ... kn...
Swaggering Youth Devastated By Crafty Old Baller
A strapping young lad—fearing, as many young basketball lads foolishly do, to body up a savvy old baller going butt first into the paint—was savagely ruined by his wizened opponent, on the craftiest of sleight-of-hand pump fakes:...
Ronald Acuña Jr. Is Donging His Way Into The Record Books
Ronald Acuña Jr.—the second-most impressive sub-legal drinking age player in the NL East—is having an extremely good time these days. He’s batting leadoff for an Atlanta Braves team that suddenly finds itself half a game up in the division, and he is smoking the hell out of the damn baseball....
Leonys Martín Battling Life-Threatening Bacterial Infection
Leonys Martín has been out for the Indians with an undisclosed illness since Wednesday, August 8. This started to look like it might be quite a bit more serious than the usual flu-like symptoms on Friday, when manager Terry Francona gave an ominous update of Martín’s condition:...
Deadspin Up All Night: The Sunshine Of Love
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. My brain is a pile of shit....
Brawl Spills Over Into Fan Area At Skins-Jets Joint Practice
The Jets and Skins participated in a joint practice Sunday afternoon at Washington’s Richmond training camp. As happens, things got heated between the two teams, leading to several skirmishes and, finally, a big ol’ footbrawl:...
Jim Tomsula Says To Put Salt In Your Cheap Beer And Change Your Life
Washington defensive line coach and former 49ers head coach Jim Tomsula has some interesting advice for perking up that Pabst Blue Ribbon you’ve foolishly chosen for your beverage. Throw a pinch of salt into that fucker!...
Mike Francesa: Yeah, I Remember Grinding My Feet Into Eddie's Couch
This is unreal....
Man Who Looks Nothing Like Troy Polamalu Infiltrates Steelers Practice In Polamalu Costume
An extremely bold and daring Steelers fan showed up to the team’s Saturday open practice in a Troy Polamalu jersey and helmet, and managed to get onto the field before several Steelers players noticed that Polamalu is a 37-year-old man who hasn’t played football for the Steelers or anyone else in mo...
Miami Police Union Throws Hissy Fit Over Dolphins Players' Peaceful Demonstrations
The Broward County Police Benevolent Association—the union of officers in one of the three counties that make up the greater Miami area—is calling on its members to boycott Miami Dolphins games and return discounted tickets because the Dolphins have not successfully forced their players to stand dur...
Johnny Manziel Jacked Up In Second CFL Start
Johnny Manziel’s second CFL start went much better than his first. For one thing, he made it out of the first half; for another, he completed 16 of 26 passes for 168 yards, and gained another 36 yards on three rushing attempts, and generally looked like a guy who can do some positive football things...
Isaiah Thomas Says Cleveland, A Shithole, Is "Actually Cool"
Here is Isaiah Thomas, shouting out the various towns where he’s played in the NBA, and their fanbases. You will enjoy the part where he gets to Cleveland, unless you happen to feel any loyalty or affinity towards Cleveland:...
Ramon Laureano Threw The Shit Out Of This Baseball
Ramon Laureano has played a total of five games in the majors, all this season, all since the start of August. It’s been a fun start! He’s already had a number of defensive highlights, and his first hit in the bigs was a walk-off game-winner in extras, in his first career game....
Deadspin Up All Night: Come And Get Your Love
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Hang in there....
Maryland Places Head Football Coach D.J. Durkin On Administrative Leave
The University of Maryland has added head coach D.J. Durkin to the list of coaches and trainers on administrative leave, in the wake of reports that the football program was “toxic” in ways that may have contributed to the death of sophomore Jordan McNair this summer....
Steph Curry Succumbs To Steep And Sudden Athletic Decline
Steph Curry participated in the Ellie Mae Classic this week, for the second year in a row. Last year Curry shot 74-74 on Thursday and Friday, and missed the cut by 11 shots. It was by no means a world-class showing, but it was impressive stuff from a professional basketball player....
Fuck These Motherfuckers
Frothing, militaristic football coaching has always relied on the premise that in order to win, players need to be trained and disciplined to the point of breaking down, so that their temperament and habits can be rebuilt in line with the goals and ambitions of the team. It’s a gnarly, brutal way of...
Asshole Will Muschamp Blames Alarming Maryland Football Report On "Gutless" Former Coaches And Lousy Players
Here is South Carolina head football coach Will Muschamp—a meathead sack of shit—commenting on reports that the Maryland football program run by D.J. Durkin was toxic and subjected players to intimidation, humiliation, and extreme physical exhaustion, factors that may have contributed to the death o...
Savvy Sports And Media Knower: Why Is It So Hard For Me To Operate A Remote Control?
Bill Simmons, a man who runs a website renowned for its sports knowing and, more and more, its television and movie knowing, is having a hard time finding sports programming on obscure channels like, umm, TNT:...