Savvy Sports And Media Knower: Why Is It So Hard For Me To Operate A Remote Control?

Bill Simmons, a man who runs a website renowned for its sports knowing and, more and more, its television and movie knowing, is having a hard time finding sports programming on obscure channels like, umm, TNT:

Let’s just skip ahead and “update this rant” all the way to “why hasn’t Bill Simmons figured out how to work the guide on his damn cable?”