miserableshitehawk Page 51 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Here Is A Legally Blind 96-Year-Old Great-Grandmother Who Would Kick Your Ass At Bowling
Kathryn Robinson will turn 97 years old next week. Also, according to this delightful Palm Beach Post report, she “lost all sight in one eye and most in the other,” making her legally blind. But that does not stop her from being a tremendous bowler:...
Papa John Dumped By Another University
Papa John Schnatter is most closely associated with the University of Louisville, but he also had an economic center at Purdue University named after him back in April of this year, when his John H. Schnatter Family Foundation reportedly pledged $8 million towards the school’s effort “to beef up hir...
Michael Jordan Backs Away From President Trump With Limpest Possible Statement
Michael Jordan found himself unexpectedly dragged into President Trump’s latest absurd feud with a prominent black athlete, when the senile cable-haver in chief closed his Twitter outburst directed at Don Lemon and LeBron James with the petty exclamation “I like Mike!”...
Robert Klemko of Sports Illustrated shares his experience of how the Ravens, the NFL, and Ray Lewis’s teammates made it nearly impossible for reporters to get answers from Lewis about his conviction on charges of obstruction of justice related to two murders in Atlanta in 2000: “‘First of all, you k...
And Now, James Franklin's Dark Purple Butt
Penn State head coach James Franklin spoke at Penn State Media Day about, among other things, the experience of taking all his players paintballing for a recent team outing. This may not have been a great idea for a person whose job it is to push these competitive young men to endure exhaustion and ...
Shohei Ohtani Still Has That Fearsome Tater-Mashing Power
Angels phenom Shohei Ohtani missed most of June following the bullcrap UCL injury that ended the pitching part of his season after just nine starts. Ohtani was batting .289 with a .907 OPS when the Angels shut him down, and in 71 plate appearances since his return on July 3 his batting average and s...
Johnny Manziel's First CFL Start Did Not Go Well
Johnny Manziel started for the Montreal Alouettes Friday night, against his former team, the Hamilton Tiger-Cats. This was always going to be a tough assignment—Manziel was traded to Montreal just 14 days ago, and had only practiced with his Alouettes teammates four times before taking the field as ...
A's Rookie Produces Walk-Off Win With First Career Hit In First Career Game
This is the kind of thing that happens for a team having one of those magical runs: the two huge clutch plays that delivered a 1-0 A’s win in extras Friday night were made by a rookie, making his first career appearance in the majors, and his first career knock was a walk-off game-winner. Break up t...
Angry Diaper President Lashes Out At LeBron James On Twitter
Our idiot president spent his Friday night engaged in the extremely healthy and productive behavior we’ve all come to expect from the leader of the free world: watching cable news enough to get somehow dumber and angrier, and then picking a fight about it on Twitter....
Undertaker's Demonic, Pyromaniacal Brother Elected Mayor Of Tennessee County
Republican Glenn Jacobs, also known as WWE’s Kane, was elected mayor of Knox County, Tennessee, Thursday. Kane won the Republican primary back in May by just 17 votes, and immediately became the overwhelming favorite for the gig in the solidly conservative area....
Maikel Franco Punctuates Walk-Off Dinger With Incredible Bat Flip
Every bat flip demonstrates a certain amount of contempt for the bat. Something like who needs this piece of shit or get this fucking thing out of my face, odd and rude attitudes to have towards a tool that just helped you do one of the coolest things in baseball, which is sock a mighty dinger....
Dan Mullen's "No-Weapons" Policy Allows Florida Players To Carry Loaded AR-15s, Duh
Dan Mullen has what he describes as a “no-weapons” policy. No weapons! Simple enough. Certain of his players at Florida have certainly understood this “no-weapons” policy to mean no weapons, as would seem to be implied by it being a no-weapons policy:...
Kobe, Come Out Of Retirement You Coward
Shaquille O’Neal recently told a fast-talking paparazzo that he’d “heard” Kobe Bryant was coming out of retirement to play with LeBron James and the Lakers. This was almost certainly a joke, but as a pretext for silly-season speculation—and a cucumber season blog from one horrifyingly bored blogger—...
Washington Mystics forward Devereaux Peters says insecure men should stop challenging her to one-on-one contests all the damn time: “Basketball is a physical game—when my employer is paying me to take physical risks, not when Basic Bobby feels the need to prove (most often unsuccessfully) that he ca...
Massachusetts Accidentally Bans, Hastily Unbans Horse Racing In One Week
Horse racing was made illegal in Massachusetts this week, when the state law making it permissible was unintentionally allowed to expire at the end of a chaotic formal session, on July 31. The effect of this expiration was a ban on live and simulcast horse racing, across the state, starting August 1...
Nationals' Sean Doolittle Does Some Good And Wise Tweets
Nationals reliever Sean Doolittle, whose teammate is one of three prominent baseball players recently found to have a history of homophobic and/or racist Twitter behavior, spent a portion of his Monday off constructing a thoughtful series of tweets on casual bigotry, baseball, and social media:...
The 76ers Are Getting All The Way Out Of The Colangelo Business
To the profound disappointment of exactly zero 76ers fans, Jerry Colangelo will be stepping away from the organization at the end of this calendar year, according to a report from Tim Bontemps of the Washington Post:...
Report: Bucks Fans Paying Tax Dollars To Put Private Company's Name On Arena Built Using Bucks Fans' Tax Dollars
Milwaukee’s new NBA arena will open later this summer, and will host Bucks home games starting with opening night in October. Last week the Bucks and banking software company Fiserv announced a 25-year agreement to name the new arena Fiserv Forum, but this otherwise standard piece of stadium busines...
Deadspin Up All Night: I'll Look Around
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Be easy....
LeBron Joins Son's AAU Layup Line To Throw In Some Show-Stopping Dunks
HBO is set to air LeBron James’s ballyhooed unscripted show The Shop next month. A preview released this week showed, among other things, LeBron telling a group of famous friends that he regrets giving his eldest son, LeBron James Jr., his name, out of concern that carrying his famous father’s name ...