miserableshitehawk Page 57 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Idiot On The Field Has Zero Moves, Gets Speared To Hell
An idiot invaded the field today at the College World Series, during a rain delay in the Arkansas-Texas game. This goofy, happy-to-be-here fellow perhaps didn’t appreciate the seriousness of his act, nor the potential severity of the stadium crew’s response, and for that he paid dearly:...
The U.S. Open Sucks And Is Dumb
A fun thing about Tommy Fleetwood’s final round at the U.S. Open Sunday—apart from the fact that he looks distractingly like Kenny Loggins circa 1981—is that he made birdies. Lots of them! So many, in fact, that he finished with a 63 on Sunday, just one stroke away from a U.S. Open record. Fleetwood...
The Nationals Offense Is Junk, But They're Mighty Fun On The Bases
The Nationals are depressing. After another disappointing loss Sunday afternoon they’re a ho-hum 37-31, having just been swept by the crummy and forgettable Toronto Blue Jays. They can’t hit the damn ball: they’re 10th in the National League in runs; they’re a miserable 11th in on-base percentage; n...
Brazil Continue Trend Of Underperforming Favorites, Draw With Switzerland
It turns out Philippe Coutinho’s monster goal in the first half of Brazil-Switzerland was not a harbinger of things to come. Brazil had about a 20 minute stretch of transcendent, dominant play, oriented more or less around Coutinho’s golazo, but spent most of the rest of the match squandering posses...
Philippe Coutinho Rips A Mighty Golazo To Put Brazil Ahead Of Switzerland
Mexico’s goal against Germany was satisfying, with the tidal motion of action suddenly surging the opposite way, and clean and purposeful passing, and a slick little first touch move followed by a sharp little strike. Lovely. But give me this here goal, from Philippe Coutinho in the 20th minute of t...
Mexico Upset Defending Champs In Germany's First World Cup Opener Loss Since 1982
Defending World Cup champs Germany were upset in their opener Sunday by a gutsy and tough-as-nails Mexico side, 1-0. There have been some surprising results in the tournament so far—Iceland drawing Argentina, Portugal drawing Spain—but this is the first holy shit upset....
The Kings Are Going To Screw This Up Somehow
Any and all pre-draft player prognostication must come with the caveat that no one actually knows anything, at this point. DeAndre Ayton might turn out to be Michael Olowokandi 2.0; Marvin Bagley III could wind up being another Justise Winslow; It’s not impossible that Luka Dončić is in fact Mario H...
Deadspin Up All Night: Having A Party
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Have a splendid evening....
The Orioles Finally, Mercifully Shelved Chris Davis
It appears the Orioles will not, in fact, let Chris Davis have the worst season in baseball history. Davis hasn’t played this week, and Friday night Orioles manager Buck Showalter reportedly indicated there’s no timetable for his return. This news is less happy than, say, news of Davis breaking out ...
Beer For Herbs Calls Itself "Lebron Tears"
An undeniable spoil of victory is the unassailable right to talk mad shit about your vanquished foes, forever, no matter their prominence nor how splendidly they performed. The Warriors are very good at this, as in the case of Draymond Green using t-shirts to mock LeBron James after each of the last...
Tough-As-Nails Racehorse Falls, Nearly Dumps Jockey, Recovers, Wins
This happened at something called the ITM Frame and Truss Maiden Steeplechase, in New Zealand. What we’ve got here is a horse falling over on a jump, nearly dumping its jockey, improbably recovering, then blazing back from the dead to win the whole damn race:...
Former Blue Jay Kelly Gruber Disinvited From Canadian Baseball Hall Of Fame Festivities After Unbearably Rude, Awkward Panel Appearance
Thursday night in Toronto former Blue Jays All-Star third baseman Kelly Gruber participated in a panel discussion for PitchTalks, which describes itself as “touring, interactive baseball event.” The event was coordinated around this weekend’s Canadian Baseball Hall of Fame festivities, an event at w...
Scottish Golf Course, To U.S. Open's Windy Conditions: "Hold My Beer"
This video is a couple days old, but it shows the, um, windy conditions at Gullane Golf Club, scheduled venue of next month’s Scottish Open. Lotta wind going on here. Big wind. Huge, huge wind....
That Wacky Astros Four-Man Outfield Shift Is Spreading
The defensive shift is having a moment. It’s of course being used more than ever, and now even by certain crotchety types who’d previously resisted it. Royals manager Ned Yost, for example, is skeptical of statistics that support use of the shift, and in fact is vocally in favor of the shift being b...
I Regret To Inform You That Mike Bibby Is Now A He-Man Action Figure
That photo up there of a jacked 40-year-old Mike Bibby comes via the Sacramento Kings, and it is extremely disturbing! Nothing in Bibby’s career in the NBA suggested he would someday look like a professional wrestler. He was a crafty and slight guard, a lean guy. Look at him here, standing next to t...
Adam Wainwright Is A Merciless Prank Artist
Skip Schumaker spent the first eight of his 11 years in the majors playing for the St. Louis Cardinals, where he was teammates with, among others, career-Cardinal Adam Wainwright. Schumaker retired in 2016, after stints with the Dodgers and Reds, and is now the first base coach for the San Diego Pad...
Dwight Howard Shares Story Of Stan Van Gundy Owning The Hell Out Of Marcin Gortat
Marcin Gortat is a fine NBA player. He’s been one of the NBA’s best screeners for about a decade; before a relatively recent age-related decline in athleticism he was an underrated defender and rim protector; he’s a wizard at timing his movement towards the hoop to preserve and maximize the narrow p...
Kellen Winslow Jr. Arrested Again In San Diego, Charged With Kidnapping And Forcible Rape
Former NFL tight end Kellen Winslow Jr., who was arrested last week in San Diego on suspicion of burglary, has reportedly been arrested again in San Diego, and the charges this time are much more serious: they include nine different counts, among them kidnapping with intent to commit rape, and forci...
LeBronWatch: Tyronn Lue's Posture Crumbles Upon Hearing The Words "LeBron James"
With the question of LeBron James’s free agency destination settled once and for all—he is for sure headed to the Lakers and the Knicks and the Nuggets this summer—the other hopeful teams around the NBA have got to be feeling like their chances of also landing LeBron are shrinking by the hour. One ...
Bark In The Park Event Goes Sideways When Very Good Dog Spots OH MY GOD ARE THOSE BASEBALLS!
A peaceful Bark in the Park event at the Dodgers’ Double-A affiliate took a turn for the better when an almost impossibly good doggo saw that the humans were throwing baseballs left and right out there, with none of his fellow four-legged buddies stepping up to do the dang retrieving:...